My indifference is soon to become resentment.

Yep, last night I was not at all happy because I really didn't want to get up at stupid o'clock to go and do something I don't care about.
I cursed the world walking this morning, everything pissed me off from cars going past to my iPod not playing songs I wanted to listen to.
But then as soon as I got to work I forgot about how much I was hating everything and my head switched off.

It only switched back on when I went for my break and then I was cursing myself for being so incapable of sticking with my bad mood.
I'm awful at doing things like that. I can see myself being one of those people that wake up next to someone one day and decide I no longer love them with no warning or real reason.
Yet this is just day one, by Sunday I will probably resent every single moment of working.

Today has been a long day. Not in the bad sense, it's just felt really long and it's still not late now. I haven't managed to use all this time well. I started to do some work and assumed that everything I needed would be there and it would work. Dan should not assume such things.
And then finally once I had everything sorted it was dark, and I needed to outside light to do what I needed.
Damn, I just realised I wont be able to do it tomorrow either because I'll be getting home late and I also wont be able to buy anything. This is only making me hate work more, it's now dictating what I can and can't do even when I am not there. Bastards.
I think I might of made a mistake too. When I bought all my food for this week I got it all fresh so I could make lots of exciting things. I'm beginning to wonder if I will want to be cooking everyday.
I probably will.
I just haven't been cooking much lately, or playing guitar.
In fact everything to do with music has been neglected a bit of late. I just leave my iTunes on shuffle and that's that. I haven't listened to Tammany Hall NYC for too long. I have only listened to the new EELS album a handful of times because then the whole Third Eye Blind thing happened and that got put aside.
It's not good.
And lately I have been busy with my decision to go for special effects, but even that is slow going at the moment as I was too tired all weekend long.
I really wish this week was all mine to do what I want because I know I would get the most out of each minute.

I got my first junk mail today. I look forward to receiving more.