You wanna wrap your arms around your head, turn out the lights and roll yourself into a ball.

And I really, really do want to do that.
The Waterboys work perfectly for this slump of a mood too.
God, I am so hopelessly depressed today. I did have a nice moment with Caroline in the kitchen, just laughing together as we always do.
But the rest of the day has been painful.
I want to go home for a week, then when I come back everything will feel fresh.
I should be sleeping as I have a day full of lessons tomorrow, I have already made the decision not to go in.
No, I'd just be overly quiet, look depressed, they'll be questions and any work I'd try would be shit. And those annoying questions would turn me more sour and I'd snap and say something awful.
No, I shall set an alarm depending on what time I go to sleep so that I can stay in tomorrow and work. I'll finish my sideburns and get loads of drawing done and do a fucktonne of research for next weeks assignment.
A more worthwhile day if you ask me because all I would do in class would sit and have make up put on, then not have enough time for me to apply some to someone. Hairdressing is shit and I can just style the wedding hair here in my room. Then prosthetics will most likely be some test make ups for next week. All of it I can do here in the only company I want, which is my own.
Plus, I am hoping that I will get swallowed up in work and get all carried away that when I stop I will of forgotten about feeling depressed.
A sound plan.
But why am I feeling this way?
Last night was pretty shit, and it was Hallowe'en at the stroke of midnight and I just wanted to go back to Halls and watch a film, not be in the shit hole that is Shout.
At least I got a load of compliments for my make up.
Today has been terrible too, not at all like Hallowe'en, and that is because I'm so used to family things on Hallowe'en. Siblings and trick or treating. My mum called me though, which was a lovely seven minutes.
Yet do not get confused, my mood is not because I am home sick.
No, it is because I pin my hopes onto things because I just don't know where to put my feet. Then these hopes don't live up.
I feel so lost. I still am clueless with what I want my life to be.
And I am too inarticulate to make something out of it.
Then I was listening to Medicine Bow (again, The Waterboys) and he was singing what I wanted to do. I want to write a song.
Maybe tomorrow.
So yeah, it's just that aged old feeling of cluelessness which gets me depressed ever other month or two.
No matter how many times it will pass and look oh so melodramatic, it really gets me down.
Tomorrow should snap me out of it, especially doing some creature designs and thinking that maybe I could go into something after this.
But right now, I shall watch Firefly and feel sorry for myself.