Fuck. I hurt.
This thick head is more than worth it as last night was great.
Work was fine and went by quick enough but I spent most the day thinking how much I could be doing at home. And it was a first me wanting to do something.
As I was leaving work I saw a single box of Sol for £9. That was my drink sorted.
Then it was time to sort myself. Clothes and food was pretty much all I needed.
I also got myself a lift across town so I wasn't carrying my various crap there.
It just so happened that I was going to a house party the night my sister was having a joint birthday party. That got me thinking about the first parties I went to, back when I thought they were the best thing on Earth. Until sixth form happened, then going to parties became the norm.
Last night certainly was good. I drank so much I am still hurting as much as I was this morning. And by the end of the night things were coming up my throat rather than down.
It felt like how all those old parties I went to should of been, where you get to know new people or find out new things about those you already know.
Those things are better done when you're drunk because then people literally accept you open arms if you say the right words. Those words were Arkham Asylum and Nebraska.
A grand old time.
I woke with aches.
Cleaned up the house.
Made some eggy bread.
The usual post-party slow morning of tv and chat.
Anna was kind enough to give me a lift home via Morrisons where we went and saved the world together by recycling.
First thing that needed to be done once I was home, get back into my pajamas and do nothing. My stomach was churning a little and there was only one thing in the world that I wanted. A curry.
So I made a curry, only to find we had very little in the house. I found some Quorn and an onion and that had to do. There wasn't even rice, but I found some pitta bread for a stand in naan bread.
It certainly helped.
Then I lay on the sofa and didn't move until I had finished both Rescue Me and CSI.
It was a really cute episode of CSI which made me very happy. It was all about Nick and his relationship with a motel and the people there throughout a year.
My day trails off here, the rest is filled with more food and the normal things I do. Despair, read and watch a film.
I must also add, what a pretty day!
I watched it for most the afternoon out the window and it was so sunny and pretty. Those lovely soft clouds and everything was a pleasing colour.
I still miss summer. A lot.
I would of killed to just lie in the sun all day today with some music.
I'll just have to wait it out because killing someone wont really change much. Unless I killed a rich man and used his money to go somewhere hot, but then I may not enjoy it as much as I will be looking over my shoulder all the time.
Anything else...?
Oh yeah, I remember now.
I'm going to see this sight soon.
This has been written in the past because Saturday is a busy day for the likes of Dan.
I have to get up and shower, get ready for work and then go to work. I'm doing nine 'till five so there is no prizes for who can guess what song will be in my head all day.
Then I need to buy drink, come home, eat, then clean and ready myself and go off to a party.
I live such a hard life. I really, really do.
You want to know what is weird, I have just written all that in the future tense but when you read it I will have already done all those things.
I have made a lot of assumptions there.
I assume I haven't died. I also assume the world is in one piece. No nuclear wars, zombie apocalypses of mass flooding.
Since this is some future/past post it would seem only right to talk about time travel, or something of that nature. I'm sorry but I don't know a great deal about time travel. I haven't read and books about time travel I don't think, and neither have I seen many films about it which I could talk about.
I think we will manage to time travel one day and I think this because viruses are a very peculiar thing. They are not living, but they are replicating. And have you seen the structure of them? Well there's a picture here if you haven't. They look so science fiction, they are like some tiny, body invading spaceship. And the biology behind them is just as weird.
So it is my theory that viruses are from the future, and were brought back by a time traveling terrorist.
I must add that this is not a real theory, it's just lighthearted. But if it ever turned out viruses are from the future I wouldn't be surprised.
I have been listening to Third Eye Blind a lot for obvious reasons, but I am enjoying a bit of The Decemberists. They popped up one day on my last.fm as a recommendation and because my birth month is December their name alone caught my attention.
Thank you last.fm for that suggestion.
And it turns out they were on How I Met Your Mother, and that often has really good songs on which I keep meaning to look into, so now I have one band crossed off that unwritten list.
5:00am was a bitch this morning. I almost didn't get up because I was mid dream when the alarm went off and I wasn't fully awake when I was turning it off.
Some voice in my head screamed work, and then I remembered why the noise was happening.
My dream was an odd one. It was about work only I was now working for Tesco. But not properly, no, I was more like a mole or a spy.
Then the whole dream evolved into some sort of supermarket espionage between Morrisons and Tesco, with sneaking around, doing those things spies do and there was even a car chase thrown in.
If only my job was so good.
However I did lose an hour at work so I am beginning to wonder if I am actually a spy who is activated by some specific word. I don't remember the hour between eight and nine actually occurring. I went up for my break at what I thought was quarter to nine, turned out it was quarter to ten so I went home after my break.
It's a good thing that I didn't notice that hour because if I had been clock watching at nine o'clock the anticipation may of killed me.
On my way home after the fastest four hours of my life I listened to Third Eye Blind and dreaded terrible news. I passed the postman and guessed that he had just posted my Sin City book.
Open my door. I hear people.
"Hi, want to hear some good news?"
We have tickets!
Nic got them in the end as she is computer literate and Bev had been talking to her.
It's not hit me. It didn't hit me when I was told. I sat down and repeated, "I'm going to see Third Eye Blind."
But I do still have a feeling of excited unrest in my stomach.
It's going to get me eventually. And on May the 12th I will not be able to sit down for sheer excitement.
Third Eye Blind. I have waited a long time for this but I never expected it to be happening now.
And how just the other day I was telling you how I had been neglecting them, then told you the story of how I fell in love with them. My life seems to be full of coincidences like that, but nothing has happened to make me think there is some kind of greater intelligence behind it all.
And for those who don't like unanswered questions. The postman did deliver my Sin City book.
It's not at all in bad condition, looks like a library book, but it saves me spending a ridiculous amount.
Sin City is so beautiful. All film noir-like style. No superheroes, in fact there isn't anyone you would consider a good hero. It's all dark and gritty, and just amazing.
But I started the second Transmetropolitan last night, so I will try and finish that today so I can read Sin City in bed later.
Speaking of books, I bought one yesterday about anatomy. I'm terrible at drawing people, so I'm hoping that this will help me by learning everything from the inside out.
I also need to buy some things like liquid latex, grease paints, alginate, gelatin and loads of fake blood. No, I'm not making some creepy and crazy sex dungeon.
I also found this amazing looking kit. Skin Wizard. Slap in on your skin and it dries to look just like third degree burns. It's a good job I have a job.
I don't think I should tell my mother what these parcels will be when they arrive. I'll just make myself look like my throat has been slit and lie and wait for someone to come home.
This is how I find entertainment, scaring people.
The louder the screams, the prouder I feel.
I'm getting pretty excited about my life now, I know what I need to do and it's going to be a fucking blast to do.
I'm going to steer away from the caps lock button to express how I am in the best mood ever.
Seriously, I am.
I may use the term "best day ever" a fair old bit, but I can get enthusiastic and then exaggerate.
In the past twenty-four hours I have had two of the most exciting highs of my life. The only other day I can compare such excitement to is the day I went to see the Goo Goo Dolls. I was on a biology field trip which made everything more fun and then in the evening I went to see them. And even then, I am far more excited right now about my life.
Whatever for?
Patience, all stories have a beginning and this one begins last night.
We all went out as a family to have a curry. The curry itself was nothing special but I appear to be free of heartburn despite all that spice and lager, but that is just a tiny bit of good fortune, this is not what has me on a high.
So there we all were eating our curry and talking. The subject of university was brought up. It's not a topic I enjoy because I have heard everything at least a thousand times from everyone and so because of that I find it really hard to listen and my mind starts to wander. This talk yielded nothing new.
Same things being said.
"You're really clever, Dan. It would be a real shame."
"I know you'll make something of yourself, make lots of money because that's the person who you are."
I hate when people say this.
I am not clever. I'm nothing special at all. I'm not thick but I am not at all clever.
I had good GCSE grades, but what does that matter, they are piss easy.
My A-levels were nothing special as I did do pretty much shit all in year thirteen.
I'm just an average person who has a habit of losing effort in things.
I can pick up things easy enough, and remember plenty of things so I can write a page all about the lymphatic system but having a good memory for things doesn't mean I am clever.
And I am not being modest here, I am just not as clever as people like to think I am. Even if I was, I don't care enough to ever do something about it.
Then the money thing. Money is not something I covet. Sure I'd love to be rich so I could just do what I want, when I want but I don't want money for it's value, if you follow my ramblings.
Only one person has ever noticed that about me and it was one of those lovely shocks in life. It was my old chemistry teacher. She was one of the worse when it came to talking about university, she'd tell me to go and I'd say I hate her. A good relationship.
However she was the only one to see how I am not money minded.
Anyway, I'm starting to get off topic here. So we were eating curry, talking about university amongst other things. So when I got home I thought I should have another look.
I didn't search on UCAS as anyone who has used it knows how godawful it is. I just googled things I liked and put course on the end.
Design - Media Make-up. It's one I never found on UCAS, but I wasn't one for looking hard. There was one at Bolton but that didn't strike me as a place I would like to spend two years. Plus it's only a foundation so I don't know what that does to loans and grants.
Now listen to this:
Pathway two Subjects covered include: -Body art - Hair design - Special effects make-up - Casting and mould making.
Awesome!
Special effects is something I have been thinking about for some time now, but I never made a decision. Now though, I'm just going to nail it down and go follow that for a few years and see where I end up.
Reading about this got me incredibly excited.
But with every high, there's a drop.
I was hit it the stomach by all the things that stood in my way. I have good grades to apply, however nothing in creative subjects. I'm slowly scraping together a portfolio but with this coming along is going to speed that up. But will that be enough? Or would I have to go do a art foundation or something like that? What if I can't get on one of those? Then if I do, will it be this year or next year? If it's next year then I would be 21 when I would be back for the other course and would I then be a mature student?
But I'd be coming off the tail end of education so I wouldn't be returning to education when I was 21, would I?
Past Dan, you prick! Why did you do science, fucking cock. Would it of been so hard to of done art, really?
You don't need to answer my questions, I'm going to ring the college and ask them everything. I don't worry often, but when I do I worry big time. This is one of those times.
I don't need to worry. I bet I could get on the course with one picture and an awesome personal statement. I like to think I can write awesome personal statements because I sent my CV to just one job vacancy, and got that job.
Told you, I'm a bastard. Most things just seem to work out for me.
With all this running through my mind last night I couldn't get to sleep for ages. I was doing my special of day dreaming. About being on some awesome course, meeting loads of interesting people. Pretending to be interested at art exhibitions but then going to see a film. Going out in the city, making a band, playing seedy little venues. Sleeping on the train covered in paint and make-up. Doing make-up for some hot girl who is then so bold to as ask me out.
Good times.
And I am sure I will make them all happen. I just need to get on with loads of things right now.
Those of you with a good memory will remember I said I was feeling amazing because of two things. I have covered one, so here is the second.
This morning I was on the internet in bed, nothing new.
"Oh look, Third Eye Blind have a post... now way... no fucking way... European tour!!!"
I click the link.
Look down the small number of dates, and there it is. At the bottom.
Thursday the 13th of May.
London.
I literally have never been this excited in my entire life. Today is not the best day of my life, but today is when I found out when the best day of my life will be.
I'm sure you all know how much this means to me because anyone who has ever been near me knows how much I love Third Eye Blind and how they are the number one band I need to see.
There is no better way to wake up than with getting the best news like that.
I love my life, it's the best life in the world!
But like I said, what goes up must come down.
I got scared, and I am still very scared.
Third Eye Blind are not at all big over here, but they do have a big fan base and they are playing just one date in the whole of the UK after not being to Europe since the '90s, I think. What I don't get a ticket?
If I don't, I will cry like I have never cried before. Then I will spend £100 on Ebay for a fake ticket and cry some more. Then go to London and sit outside the venue and cry, cry, cry.
The tickets also go on sale to the public tomorrow at 9.00am. Right in the middle of my shift at work so I will not be at a computer screen until about 10.30am. That's an hour and a half, they could all be gone!
I have already sent the information to my sister who will no doubt be coming with me. If I have not heard from her later I will ring her and see if she can get the tickets, or if maybe Seb could. Maybe Seb will want to come, or Tom. There are beacons of hope around the country who might be able to get the tickets.
And they must be bought, I must be there. Seeing Third Eye Blind is one of the highest things on my really-need-to-do-before-I-die list.
And I also have this image in my head of Bev and myself driving to London on a warm May day. Windows down, Third Eye Blind playing as loud as it can and us singing all the way there.
I really can't tell you how excited I am. But I am also shit scared. I never wanted something so badly and if I miss this it will be the biggest heartbreak known to man. Ever.
And that is that. The two huge things with huge possible downsides.
Even with that, I am still the most excited I have ever been. Trying to get to sleep on Christmas Eve as a child doesn't even come near to this moment here.
I have no idea how I will sleep tonight and I have to up at 5.00am tomorrow.
But if I get a ticket to that show, I will be riding this high all the way to May and sleep will not be an issue at all.
Even that gives me shivers. Death is actually a really issue if I get a ticket.
If I can see Stephan Jenkins only feet away I think I might actually die.
I've been doing this now for an entire month.
It feels like it has been a long month. Christmas seems a life time ago.
I find December goes by really quick then January drags on and on. But this January has been top so I have been enjoying it's slow pace. And it's not over yet, I have a little more left to cram into it and also more alcohol to cram into my body.
So yeah, whole month. Congratulations, well done - yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've talked too much lately so today I'm not going to bother.
I did also watch a video journalism documentary about Burma so I could talk on and on today. Vomiting my hatred everywhere and calling you all names for being cocks.
People sometimes say if you have nothing nice to say, then say nothing at all.
I have nothing at all to say.
Actually, I do have one nice thing to say. I had a nice hug with my FDNY hoody last night. I was all sleepy and comfy after watching Shameless, so I grabbed that and put my arms in it and bundled the rest over my chest and head. I could of died I was that comfy. Turned on a program about the US Coast Guard and watched all the beautiful sun kissed Jayhawks. It was a lush way to spend the night.
I do love that hoody. It is one of the few things I would grab in a house fire.
Rory, my guitar (the other, Richie, I don't really love him so he can burn and be replaced).
My FDNY hoody.
Then either my iPod or MacBook, whichever is easy to get as I would just want my music collection.
I might grab my coat as that's on my door so it would be easy enough to get, and it's so big and pretty.
I don't think there is anything else I would want to get. I don't have any photographs in my room as I don't take any. I have no special dvds, cds or books from anyone that I couldn't just get a new one.
Oh, I'd get a pair of shorts. The ones I got from Greece because not only are they really nice, they will forever remind me of many great memories there.
Erm, there isn't much in my room that I would be sad if I lost. I have my walls covered in various things which I either find pretty or they relate to some specific memory, but I wouldn't miss any of it.
In fact I want to get rid of quite a lot because some bits are from when I was back in school which I no longer care about.
As the title of this post would suggest, I'm not the most sentimentalist of people. I have practically nothing in my possession that has some sentimental meaning to me. I have plenty of things that have a story to go along with them but I can't think of much that makes me think "If I lost this, I'd be heartbroken".
Shit! Sorry, I said I wouldn't talk and you went and made me talk.
Anywho, here is a video.
It's a song that generates many good videos, generally along the same lines of each other.
Most the time I hate a song being heavily religious, but I like this one.
What better way to start the day than with some NFL.
I love how grand it is. Huge fans infatuated by it all, massive and colourful stadiums. And cheerleaders!
It's why I love a lot of American things, they never do anything half arsed, it's always full on and larger than life.
I watched the playoff highlights because it's almost Super Bowl Sunday. I've seen enough of it to understand the rules. I get all your 1st & 10, 1st & 6 and if you don't convert a 4th down into a 1st then you lose possession.
There's a lot more I still don't get, but I have the basics down which makes it possible to watch it, and it sure is exciting to watch.
I have no preference with teams because as I am not American I feel no loyalty to a particular team. Unlike NHL, that's all about the Ducks and that is Disney's fault for making that awesome cartoon.
But yeah, I have no set preference for football, it's just fun to watch.
Saying this though, neither of the two teams I wanted to win the playoffs won. I wanted the Vikings to win because their quarterback, Favre, had come out of retirement at the age of 40 to take them to the Super Bowl. They were so close and took the game to over time but were eventually beaten by a Saints field goal.
The other game I wanted the Jets to win because they were against the Colts. A real David versus Goliath game. For the first quarter the underdogs were doing really well, only for them to be inevitably beaten.
I want the Saints to win the Super Bowl as they have never got that far before, whereas the Colts won it only four seasons ago. Now I just need some beer, crisps, dips and male friends to make Super Bowl Sunday amazing. Chances are though I will just get drunk and fat on my own in the middle of the night.
Look at me, talking about sport. Just like a real man.
And another reason why American sport is so much more better, one of the commentators said something along the lines of: "it's like inviting some guy you don't really like to your party, and him going off with your girlfriend."
It was to do with the Saints giving away the perfect season to put them in a better position for winning the season.
It's a hilarious simile, and just another example of how they make everything larger than life and far more enjoyable.
No British commentator would say such a thing, they're too boring and, well... British.
Enough of that for now.
Erm, what else do you not care to hear about?
I no longer miss doing my journal anymore. It was kinda like a pet, something you had to do but might not of enjoyed so much and then when they die you're free. Maybe I am using this as a substitute, but I doubt that because if that were true then you would be a very poor substitute. I mean a really, really, really shit one.
And speaking of pets, I have been listening to Third Eye Blind more of late (the connection will make it's self clear soon). I have been neglecting them recently even when they were once my favourite band. Everyone knew it too, I'd go on about them all the time and more so when I was drunk. I don't do that emotional drunk stuff, I just throw my musical taste upon people.
So the the pet connection. I've been wanting to watch A Knight's Tale but I can't as my dvd is still in some Center Parcs dvd player. The soundtrack for that film is a very good one and my aunt bought it and copied it for me because I was in a low point in my childhood years. It was November 2002 and both my hamster and dog had died so receiving this cd was definitely a pick me up. Among the great songs on this cd there was a particular one I took a shine for. Eye Conquerer by Third Eye Blind.
This song remained one of my top played one for a fair few years. My sister would tell me I should get more Third Eye Blind and I always intended to but I would often forget. Until finally in January 2008. It was the weekend and I was having a shower while the radio played loudly in my room. When I came back into my room a familiar song was playing, I remembered hearing it as a child but couldn't remember anymore about it other than it was good. Then Helen Mason said it was Third Eye Blind with Semi Charmed Life. That moment there made me go and get their albums, and what a brilliant decision that was.
I like to think about all the tiny little things that lead me to find one of my favourite bands.
Ignoring all the things before they were a band, otherwise we'd be here for a long time.
There is them writing Semi Charmed Life and it becoming a smash hit of '97. There is the radio stations playing this and implanting it into my head ready for the future. There is my sister being at the right age to notice music and fall in love with Third Eye Blind. There is my mother meeting Paul which brings me into contact with Bev. And with Paul there also comes the decision to have a radio station. Then there are my pets dying and me receiving a cd. There is the filmmakers deciding to have Third Eye Blind on that cd. There is me liking that. Then there is us getting a radio station and not the other company. There is Paul letting us choose songs to put on the radio playlist. There is Bev choosing Third Eye Blind. Then there is me being in the right place at the right time to hear that song. Then there is Helen naming the track, because otherwise I probably would of never looked into it.
That there is a lot of little things coming together to have a big effect on my life. This is why I love the complexity of life and how every little thing interacts with everything around it. One simple difference in choosing yes over no can lead to a huge difference if you had chosen no over yes.
This is why I cannot believe in fate. The idea that my free will is nothing more than a story that's already been written, that's a terrifying thought.
And on lighter note, the tv just said thirty tonne semi. I giggled like a girl.
The word crazy does not even begin to describe the dreams I had last night.
They were very deep and the big full on, you can almost touch them dreams.
I'm taking this to be a good sign because most my dreams are practically nothing different from everyday life, I would pretty much dream about going to work, going to sixth form, meeting up with people I know. It didn't make going to sleep much fun.
But last night my brain was on fire. Maybe from all that Spaced I watched, and How I Met Your Mother. Or that I actually drew something and played guitar and got excited about something.
The reason doesn't really matter as the product was fucking immense!
And speaking of sleep, I got twelve hours of the stuff. Didn't get up till twelve o'clock.
That is a huge deal because I wake up at around half past eight no matter what time I go to bed. The extra sleep was very welcome.
Todays movie was Quadrophenia.
A good enough movie. Seven out of ten.
I'm no fan of the Mod subculture. I don't think the music was good enough to warrant such a following.
Wearing suits was pretty cool and I like suits. It's just a real big shame that the suits had to be stuck to the Mods. And their hair was ghastly. Gross.
But the film was good. It's always nice to watch an old craze with subcultures. It happens every generation as now we have chavs and emos.
It's one thing I look forward to about having kids, seeing what they will love. What music will there be, and then I get to surround them in my music and get called old for it. They'll love me for it.
I finished Spaced last night. There could be a third series one day but I don't mind if there isn't because the second one ended on a high. Sure there were still questions and possible story lines to follow, but it ended at an ending, if you follow.
And I am used to watching short running programs. The longest being five seasons.
Apart from CSI, that's on season nine and I am still watching. However in that, the story and character development is all but gone. You might only see one character for five minutes now whereas in season two everyone would be there all the time. I just can't help but keep watching it as there are occasional moments of good tv but the whodunit element is fast slipping away too. I hope it ends at season ten because at this rate I'll have to give up and throw in the towel.
Back to Spaced.
Awesome stuff. It's the kind of program that leaves me chuckling all the way through and there will be one simple sentence, sometimes just a word which will make me laugh far too much.
And the quirky bunch of misfits they are, I wish I was in a group of people like that.
I'll find them eventually.
Until then though, I will carry on watching films and tv, reading books and wishing all these fictional characters were sat in my room with me.
And some of them, well I wish they were in my bed if you know what I mean.
Kaylee could get my engine running.
Mary Jane would get me web slinging.
Summer would get me hot under the collar.
I'd like to morph with Tonks.
Lily, I'd... I'm struggling with an innuendo here. I'd smell that flower...? No, doesn't work. Maybe something about stems. I dunno. Anyway, Lily, I'd totally do her.
I'd make that flower blossom? Maybe that one will do.
That's probably enough of my fantasies now. Well, for now at least.
What else did my day yield that I wish to discuss with you?
Oh yeah, I had a heart to heart with my mum. Well as close as I will ever got to a heart to heart with a family member. I feel like I should make more effort with talking to my family about things but I rarely have anything I need to talk about.
I do enjoy having my family around but most the time I just like to fade into the background. I like things happening around me so that I can just step back from it all.
I am good at talking when I need to. This month is a fine example of that and how I have said more that I thought I ever would.
Actually, I knew I would say it all because I plan conversations in my head all the time but most the time I have not a lot to talk about when it comes to myself because I do my best to avoid melodrama. I don't like to whine about something when I know come next week I wont give a shit.
I'm also a person who finds it incredible easy to let go of things, so whereas some people need to talk, I can just let go of something.
And might I add, it's the best way to live. You could die at any moment so why let yourself be eaten up by the past. Go out into the world, climb high, run forward and see how far you can go before you die.
Yeah, I'm very bad at inspiring people and offering advice.
I may of got out of bed yesterday, but I didn't wake up all day long. I dragged my way through the day with End Times and finished reading The Road.
I love how it didn't end with the traditional story book ending. I'm all for tragedy.
I could of finished watching Spaced, but I stopped two episodes before the end so I have something to watch in bed later tonight.
The sun was very nice this morning, forcing it's way through my curtains trying to pull them down. But then after looking out my window I saw only the sky was nice, everywhere else was grey and wintery.
The house was empty too as it's a Sunday. An empty house has a weird feeling to it.
I like it sometimes, but it always feels weird.
Cold and lifeless, even if the heating is always far too warm.
But an empty house means I can start the day with Biffy Clyro turned all the way up, and that certainly made me dance through the kitchen.
Then it was all about Rescue Me. I only started to watch that because it's about the FDNY, and that is certainly a beautiful thing.
Just look.
I'm not sure why I have the hots for fire engines. Maybe that little boy who wanted to be a fireman never grew up and is in me still. Along with the boy who wanted to be Indiana Jones and all the other crazes I went through. And still go through.
Anyway. I am glad I started to watch Rescue Me even if it was just for the eye candy as it turned out to be really good. I love Lou, he is hilarious. I'll be there chuckling through a whole episode just because of him.
Jesus keeps turning up in it now, bleeding everywhere. It's annoying because I don't like Jesus, but it's an American show. Other than that though, it's all good.
Afterwards I was fresh out of ideas for what to do. I had films to watch but didn't feel like it. Neither did I want to read. So I had the great idea that I should draw something.
Ten minutes later I was sat there cursing about how I couldn't draw anything let alone come up with anything to do.
Then about another ten minutes later I got over that hurdle and drew a koi.
It's only taken twenty-four days but I have finally started to do what I want to do with this year.
I might even do it all again tomorrow, or for varieties sake, play guitar all day.
I also need to get good at my story telling as I really fancy making a graphic novel. Not a serious one, oh no.
Just one to please myself and no one else. Like having myself becoming a cryptic crime fighter who uses brains over brawn and on my travels I encounter Mary Jane. Then romance, tragedy and hilarity ensues.
Never know, that could be my stepping stone to millions.
But I need that killer story line. I am fast running out of reading material so it's only a matter of time before I am sat in bed writing and not reading. Tonight though, I'll be watching Spaced. However that has both writers and artists in, so I am definitely putting myself in the right environment.
The house was empty when I came downstairs and I could see post on the floor. I excitedly ran down the stairs and found a parcel buried under the various envelopes.
It got better, it was cd shaped and said Amazon on.
My name too.
Rip it open, and there it was. The picture I have been looking at for a very long time in my hands.
To the back room, cd player on, up the volume, make coffee and sit and listen.
I was happy the house was empty as that meant I could have it as loud as I wanted and be free from interruptions.
Apart from the phone did ring once, but I decided it probably wasn't going to be important so left it be.
It was the best way to spend any morning. Lay on a sofa, engrossed in new pretty sounds.
End Times is very E, as he has a sounds that belongs to him and no one else but he is also ever changing with his sound. This album had elements of the blues, very fitting.
But mainly is was a simple album as far as the music went, a good choice as the subject matter wasn't really one to overshadow with lots of sounds.
The subject matter being about divorce and growing old, alone.
While listening I decided that this cd will be a good breakup cd. Along with Third Eye Blind's Ursa Major. Now all I need is someone to breakup with to put them to their use.
By the last song I felt like crying it was that depressing. I didn't though, as by then my mother had come home. She enjoys the EELS too. Not in the same way as me, but when I listen to them she will tell me they are good, then I feel good.
But yes, a brilliantly sad album.
Ending with a long song, well, long for E. It has a long repeat to fade at the end, much like growing old, and fading to death. I wonder if this was intentional, or am I just doing that usual thing where I can't help but analyse things.
It's why I watch films alone, people don't like my comments.
No, as if, I watch films alone because I don't like people. They talk, ask questions and ruin the watching experience. You don't even have to talk, just the presence of another person is enough to make me sigh heavily, repeatedly.
This was not the only thing I did with my morning though. Oh no.
Afterwards I finished Assassins Creed II.
Wow, just wow.
The first one was good for a while, until then you realised every mission was the same and though the story was good it was not good enough to compensate.
Number two though, amazing.
It's so much bigger and prettier being set in Renaissance Italy. You get to see the carnival with the lush harlequins and masquerade masks.
And the story. Well, it's a story within a story like the first, but it was again amazing, more so than the first. Lots more characters, and likable ones at that.
And it wasn't as "samey" as the first. You follow the story without needing to go gather information in the same fashion; beat someone up, pickpocket someone, eavesdrop on someone and repeat several times.
Nope, just good old fashioned story. And then on the side you could go around doing extras for more money. Until you get about half way through the game and money no longer becomes an issue and you can buy everything without thinking, but you still go do the extra assassinations because you want to, and because they are far more challenging.
And The Truth thing mixed in, that was awesome. First you have to go find all the glyphs, then you have to decipher them and as a reward for all that work you get a video with Adam and Eve in, running from Eden with the forbidden fruit. But not in the normal interpretation of Eden.
No, it's all ahead of it's time, and our time with technologies.
This makes sense at the end once we find out more.
To sum it up, a more advanced race settled on earth, but then a celestial disaster occurred wiping out much of civilisation, so they built a new race in their image and lived side by side until war broke out.
Some of this advanced race remains, where they have built temples to help stop the same celestial disaster from reoccurring.
I told you it was wow.
You start the game thinking it's just the war between Assassins and Templars, and assassinating people to change history for the better. Then that happens!
Now I have to wait for Assassins Creed III. They got me hooked and leave me wanting more, damn them.
I should stop talking about it now, I just needed to let it all out.
And that there was my morning.
Last night was good too, very enjoyable.
Involving the sort of conversation that only happens when you are drunk, and then it still only occurs rarely. What a treat that was.
I got a kebab on the way home as it only seemed right.
And there is nothing like a warm bed, fuzzy head and a belly full of meat to make you feel content with life.
There was more things I was going to say last night, but I can't remember any of them now. I'm sure they were interesting, or maybe meant something.
This is what a man said to me today,
I very nearly let the words "what are you? Gay?" slip.
It's not the first time this has happened, once someone told me that thighs were better than breasts.
The fool.
I should probably mention that I am talking about chicken here, and it's various edible body parts.
I got a bitchin' burn at work today. It went white straight away and now it's a badass blister. But I can hack it as I was doing a full days shift, therefore I am a man.
My EELS cd didn't arrive today.
Sad.
Should be here tomorrow at least.
And I also found that book I was going on about on Amazon for eight quid. It's used, but it's going to be used after I have read it so I am just cutting out the middle man if you think about it.
I am on series two of Spaced, I shall probably have a post all about that once I have finished it saying why I love it and why I want my very own Simon Pegg.
The Road is still going down a real treat.
I find it very hard to find a book I love. I really like this one but I don't think it is worthy to go into my favourite books.
Very few books get there, it's pretty much I Am Legend and Things The Grandchildren Should Know.
It's because I find most books have a weak ending. You spend all that time reading the story and loving it and then it has to end, so it just kinda peters out.
Apart from I Am Legend. Best ending ever.
I love that book beyond belief, I could go into how that one book changed the horror genre.
I wont though, not because it will bore you, I am just short of time.
That's right, I spending my night like a twenty-something would.
Come home from work and go out to the pub. Drinking away the memories of the week before, and dragging yourself through next week to the beacon of next friday at the pub.
Isn't life beautiful?
As I said, I felt disheartened as I walked to work but then I was fine once I was there.
And afterward, well I kinda had a sense of not wasting a morning but I was trying to work out what I should do with my year, and then from that, my life.
When I was home I wanted to sit in front of the tv and do very little, but daytime tv is far from watchable. Then I remembered I had recorded American Hate, American Nazis.
If ever I wondered why I am so hate filled, I just need to look at the things I watch. Documentaries about neo-Nazis and the slaughter of whales don't exactly fill people with a warm, fuzzy feeling about the world.
And American Hate, American Nazis sure did make me very hate filled.
What a bunch of wankers.
"I don't want our country to fall apart after all our forefathers fought for."
What the fuck?
Your fore-fucking-fathers raped, pillaged and stuck a flag in "your" country to claim it as their own. How can immigrants be destroying your culture when you have no real culture, you took the country, it's not yours!
White supremacy? Excuse me but the Native Americans were not white.
But I'm sure the Nazi scum have some belief that America was there's anyway, and they were just taking it back so there is no way you could logically argue anything against them.
Blame the Jews? Can someone please explain to me how that makes an ounce of sense.
Some huge conspiracy where they are destroying culture and the economy by out breeding the White Man? Yeah, sure...
And anyway, if any religious machine is going to be untrustworthy, it's the Vatican.
What does the White Man have anyway, what pride do they have? Pretty much all he does is invade places and call them his own.
Knowledge of a heritage only goes so far as well, after that you could be from anywhere. Chances are some of these neo-Nazis have Jewish ancestors. Wouldn't that be a kick in the teeth.
And a factor of National Socialism national pride? Well if you have all these immigrants wanting to come to your country because they think it's the biggest and best country in the entire world, would you not feel some pride about that.
Dick heads.
A woman made a really good point which made me smile.
"Kick your computer, not an immigrant."
It was about the change in economy and therefore change in jobs, and how technology and knowledge caused that shift. And it's true, immigrants aren't stealing your jobs, computers and technologies are.
Dick heads.
But it was only three quarters of this program that pissed me off. The last part made my day.
One of the neo-Nazi movements were having a march in D.C. and because of that loads of anti-racist activists turned up. It made me very happy seeing all those people there chanting 'Nazi scum!" and general hurling all sorts of abuse at them. I even got goosebumps it was that beautiful.
And to top it off, as the racist twats were trying to give their speech, the anti-racists got a big bullhorn and quoted all of Martin Luther King, Jr's speech.
I'd be lying if I wasn't turned on by how beautiful it was.
Good times.
And it's not all that bad having these neo-Nazis around. I mean, it is bad, they are bad. Bad, bad, bad.
But free speech is important, and it's also important that we have a constant reminder about bad things because us as humans will easily forget, or think we can not repeat the same mistakes.
We just need to be reminded of certain things to make sure we keep moving up and forward.
In other news, I finally found that song that was on the Whale Wars advert. I say I found it, it found me.
Had I paid any attention to the charts last year I would of known the song, but had I paid any attention to the charts I would of not been me.
I am at a really nice point in The Road, which is a lovely change from the bleak, grey and depressing feel of it. It's a really good book. But I fear their good fortune will not last, and soon everything will return to hopelessness.
So yes, I am in a grand old mood. There was probably more I was going to rant and complain about but it's escaped me. I'll remember what else I wanted to say in five minutes, but there is enough there for you and I for one day.
I had some bizarre dreams last night. To name one, I was an assassin in late 15th Century Venice.
Who says I am easily influenced by my surroundings.
Once again I have little to say.
I could talk about Haiti as that is still big news.
The earthquake was bad, but it's nice that the world is helping - right?
Well, yes and no.
It's good we are helping, giving them the much needed aid but Haiti is the poorest county in the Americas and it took an earthquake for us to finally offer them some help.
It's like Africa. That has so much debt that it will never be able to pay us back, poverty is a huge issue and they have so many corrupt governments. These things don't qualify as a disaster though.
It's not all doom and gloom, there is a fair old amount of charity work occurring and helping.
I dunno.
I just got pissed off at some celebrity on the tv who was having a fund raiser to help Haiti. Come on, you have all this money but you will only part with it once a huge disaster has occurred and killed thousands.
Why not part with some of that money and give people a better life without the catalyst of a disaster.
I know I am making a blanket statement, I know there are plenty of rich people who give away their money all the time.
I also know it's easy for me to sit here and complain with my limited knowledge when I have no idea how to run a business, let alone a county, and let alone the world.
But that wont stop me from venting out my various hates of the world.
Work tomorrow. That has snuck up on me.
I really don't want to go. It's the same old story every night before work. It makes me feel sad to know I have to go to work. I hate jobs, what a depressing way to waste a life.
However, once I am at work I will be fine because all the things I will be doing will stop me from thinking, and I will get on with what needs doing without my angry thoughts.
And then once I come home from work, I wont feel like I have wasted a morning. In fact, I'll have that feeling of a job well done.
But right now, with the shadow of 5am all too near, I never want to work again.
This is my complaint of today. The way the term "miracle" is thrown around all too often.
Especially those American Christians.
"Oh look, a small piece of good fortune."
"Hallelujah! It's a miracle! Praise the Lord!"
Yes, because there could be no other reason for something good happening on it's own, or through a reaction of peoples choices. Oh no, it was God.
Maybe I am a little bias because I hate religion.
But still.
That's all you're going to get out of my tonight, I don't feel much like a chat tonight.
I'm in a great mood, maybe I'm starting to lose interest which happens with nearly everything I come into contact with.
I don't have much to say anyway. Maybe it's because I don't have a life and have been on Assassins Creed for most the day. Or maybe I lead such an incredible life I fear telling you about it because just sharing an ounce of my awesomeness would cause your eyes to weep.
Last night I didn't need to decide what to do with myself as when I went up to my room to find something I found a text on my phone. So out I went.
And it was a good thing as it good rid of all that hate.
Apart from the ice, I'm not friends with that.
We all played Articulate. Anna and myself won, leaving Anna and Matt a bitter second, and Lizzy and Tom a far third. It was a very funny evening, it felt like the times we had a few years ago when you are sat in a friends room and spend the whole time laughing.
I got a lift part way home which was nice as it saved me a whole trek across of all of Buxton.
And then when I was home everyone was in bed, so I went up too. And I was back to where I was three hours ago, wondering what to do.
I wanted to read but I knew if I did I would then feel awfully isolated, I don't know why, I just had that feeling.
So I put the radio on and listened to a debate about cosmetic surgery until I finally fell asleep.
As I fell asleep with the radio on last night I woke up dead on eight o'clock by my man love. Gordon Ramsey was on.
How I love that man. So I spent a couple of hours in bed just lying there, listening and chuckling. I should fall asleep with the radio more often because I love waking up to it.
Until Fearne Cotton comes on, she never fails to get me out of bed. She is an awful person with that pointy face and phony personality.
I finally watched Cannibal Holocaust. It was the middle of the day and I was cold and bored, so up I went to my room, got in bed and put it on. It's very much a film that has to compete with it's own hype and I wish I had seen it without hearing all the stories about it.
Is it worthy of the title "Most Controversial Film Ever Made"?
Well, I haven't seen every film ever made but I don't know. I mean it's bad but it's not the worse I have seen. The majority of the gore is very 80's, being too bright and too light. However at the end, the gore there could compete with a film of today and possibly win.
There is also a lot of sex and rape of the highly revealing sort, a hairs breadth away from being pornography.
But with just these two factors I don't think the film would of been so widely banned, it would of still been shunned but not as much.
The thing that probably made it so controversial, and I can understand why, is that the film has six genuine killings of animals.
I can see why that is a reason to ban it in some ways.
But then you look in a supermarket and look at all the meat, that all came from killing animals. Some things people would rather accept than witness I guess.
The film itself is a very good social commentary I found, yet there were a few parts of cheesy dialogue that made me cringe. I'm sure we all knew that in that situation the White Man was the savage and not the "savages".
So it was not the worst film I have seen though I am not a fair observer, I'm that desensitised I wouldn't know a bad film if I saw one.
Today is what they call Blue Monday. The most depressing day of the year.
They even have a formula to work it out.
Because of this I should probably discuss something depressing.
I'm not feeling very blue though because I am still yet to learn about the joys of debt.
Death is depressing to most people. Unless of course Morrissey was to die, for me that would be better than Hallowe'en. And I fucking love Hallowe'en.
So yeah, Death.
I haven't been in his presence for some time, but I am ready for him.
I have my funeral playlist all ready, I recently added another song to it which is a pretty big deal as I have to be very discriminant otherwise I'd get carried away.
It's a real shame that I will be dead on my funeral because this playlist is so wonderful, and I want to see how it affects you all. Hopefully it will affect you in the way I want it too.
I'd also like to be at my own funeral to see everyone who meant something to me during my years because there will only be one other day in my life where I will be in a room full of all my family and friends, and that would be my wedding day.
Assuming of course I don't die before hand. And chances of that happening are probably quite high.
Sucks to be future Mrs. Roberts.
Last night was a wonderful night.
We had my Uncle Steve and Auntie Sue over.
Steve is my very favourite person I have ever met.
I hope that one day I might just be like him. He knows so much about music, and endless knowledge and I love talking to him about it all, and having a good old discussion about punk music. Learning about all the bands he met when he was at university in Edinburgh. Including The Ramones!
And he is the funniest guy I have ever met. He's hilarious.
And he has a huge arsenal of funny stories and anecdotes. One from last night being about the time he was chased by his dentist with a drill around the surgery. Not from his childhood, but from the last time he went to the dentist.
If I could have just one story like his to tell, I will die a very, very, very happy man.
Sadly, because I had been up early for work I was knackered and threw in the towel at half past eleven.
A wise move because people were still up at 6am and had I stayed up that long I might of died. Or just been really tired, but I would of probably died.
And I need my sleep, so I can work on having a vast and useless knowledge of music and having hilarious and almost unbelievable stories to tell.
Today has been a quiet day in contrast. Involving carvery and Assassins Creed II. Simple pleasures.
I'm not sure what to do with myself tonight though. It's very warm downstairs to I might escape to my room upstairs.
But then what?
I could read Transmetropolitan, maybe watch a film. Spaced?
I just don't know what to do, because I want to be alone but that leaves me with not much to do.
"Why do you want to be alone, Dan?"
Oh, I'm just in one of those moods. The one where if anyone asks me a question I will find them insufferable and want to hit them repeatedly in the face.
I'm just a hate filled individual.
Here is Moby.
Moby is one of my secret pleasures in life, I love him.
I can't think of much to talk about today.
I'm in a very good mood so I think my content feeling is making me all the more care free.
I got my early night last night. I went up at 7pm and watched The Bourne Ultimatum. It's such a good male film with espionage, conspiracy, a car chase and murder by towel.
Yesterday I was looking high and low for a book. A Dame To Kill For, from the Sin City series. It's the second book of seven and it's the only one that the entire world has none of.
And I don't fancy getting it on Ebay for £70.
I don't understand why this particular volume is so difficult to buy and I am pretty sure it was in stock on Amazon the other week.
I think there must of been a warehouse fire in the only warehouse that stocked it.
I asked WHSmiths to find the book for me. They say one to two weeks, so until then I will have to make do with other reading material.
Work was really good today I thought. I was really awake and the person on with me was also part time so I felt more free, as it were. I have some more burns to add to story of my life and I doubt that no amount of time and practice will stop my accumulation of burns.
And with all the extra hours I did over Christmas I banked a fair old number of holiday hours which I need to use up before April. Look's like Dan will be getting a week or more off soon.
Tonight may be a night in for me, but I have my Aunt and Uncle coming.
This means lots of food, and once again lots of alcohol.
I'm on the donor register so I should care for my liver more, I'm no dying alcoholic though so I'm sure everything is good and where it should be.
I don't think I have ever had such a busy month, and it's only the 16th. I am loving it!
I just pre-ordered End Times. The new EELS album.
Comes out on the 19th, so I should get it on the 20th/21st.
I could download it and have it on the day seems how my CD player doesn't work, but if I keep buying CDs it might make me buy a new CD player.
And it might be a really pretty CD with pictures, just like my Third Eye Blind one was.
I think this album will be a depressingly uplifting one.
Yes, that's right, depressingly uplifting.
And what does a new album mean? Album world tour! So I hope, and if my hopes aren't slashed I'll be there.
Then I will just need to see Third Eye Blind, which wont be so easy.
Harder still, Tammany Hall NYC. Assuming they are still a band.
Jeff Mangum has sadly fallen off the music world.
Joe Strummer, well he's dead.
The Mountain Goats are headlining some UK festival this summer, but I'm not digging £130 just to see them. I have the optimistic thought of if they are over here, they might as well play a few locations. We shall wait and see.
But hey, I saw the Goo Goo Dolls. That was a beautiful night.
Speaking of which.
Where is their new album as they released a new song nearly two years ago.
Yesterday's pictures were from Land of the Dead. Kudos to those who knew that, which would of been none of you.
I put them there as my hangover cure for yesterday was coffee and Land of the Dead. And I just couldn't think of any pictures to illustrate whatever I was talking about.
It's a very enjoyable film, more so this time round because last time I watched it I was busy doing that friendship thing.
I like how it says even at the end of the world the rich will divide themselves from the poor.
You've got zombies at your door but you will still give money it's useless value.
I also like how the zombies seem to get smarter, less instinctual and more thought to planning.
It's unlikely that when zombies take over the world this will happen, but it made for a good story in a film.
I haven't a clue where I got my love for zombies from. I was trying to think of the first zombie film I watched but nothing is coming to mind.
This picture here is from Day of the Dead, a sadly underrated film.
It was that scene which made me fall in love with special effects.
My evening last night was a most enjoyable one.
I had the best curry I have ever eaten, and I have sure eaten many.
And my cake. Well, that too was the best cake I have ever eaten.
Screw modesty, my cake was fucking amazing! It was perfect. I might go get some more right now to remind me how good it is.
Quiet a bit of alcoholic beverage was consumed once more. We're only half way through this month but I am pretty sure I have spent most of it drunk.
Damn proud I am.
I still need to work on my dinner talk I think. I talk about things that give children nightmares, such as 99942 Apophis. I can't help it, I'm fascinated with the end of the world.
Then I had a debate with my mum about who was the better cook. This soon became childish resulting in retorts such as, "no, I'm better!"
Better than usual dinner talk though.
"Bad weather..."
"... yeah. How are you?"
"Okay. You?"
"Same."
"..."
"..."
I was pretty much dead at work today. I'm blaming my cough for that. I might even have to go to the doctors and pay for a prescription.
Or lie and tick the education or benefits box.
And the rain has returned!
I enjoyed it, it was a much loved change from the constant whiteness.
And a nice walk in the rain can be ever so cleansing and uplifting. Well it is for me.
I think I'll go chop up the Christmas tree and maybe follow it with more manly activities and then have a really, really early night in the hope it will make me just a little more alive for tomorrow.
I named yesterdays post The bittersweet life of a small town but failed to go into why.
Like I said, I wasn't in a much of a talky mood.
I think bittersweet is the right word to use, I don't use the word often so I could be wrong and if so, please forgive me.
I find living in a small town good and bad.
This thought was brought on when someone added me on Facebook and I knew I knew them but could not remember why. She also added my mother and was talking to her.
Then I remembered who she was, and turns out she is the sister of someone I have known of for many years. I wasn't surprised by this though, I just thought to myself "makes sense, this is Buxton after all".
And that's what it's like here. You can walk through town and bump into several people you know.
I spend most my time looking over my shoulder to make sure I avoid such situations as most people I just want to avoid.
This is because I am a terrible person. If there were a hell, that's where I'd be going.
But Dan, didn't you say a small town was bittersweet?
Yes, yes I did. So as bad as it is that everyone knows everyone and I will always see the same old faces it's not always that bad.
Makes life more friendly.
I'd prefer a city, then if you bump into anyone it will be more of a surprise and everyone loves surprises.
And if you ever see someone you know when your in a different country, well that's just amazing.
Anyway,
I didn't sit in the corner and read The Road last night because I went out instead.
I have spent much of January in the Clubhouse, watching the price of Corona go up as if it were petrol. £3.03 a bottle now, but well worth it as you get a wedge of lime.
Last night was grand. It was something I very much needed as I think I have the Winter Blues.
And I also got talk to people about things I have needed to talk about since before Christmas. Some of those words had been bottled up since as far back as summer.
I enjoy talking, I feel sometimes people think some subject matters will be awkward for me but you'll be pushed to make me awkward. I can watch a film with a sex scene with my mother and make her feel awkward, not me. Skills.
But yes, I do love talking sometimes. There isn't many times I feel like I have to get something off my chest because truth be told my youth has been pretty vacant of drama and dilemmas.
I feel like that is a shame sometimes and I occasionally feel like I missed out on a lot of growing up, but I like me and I like where I am so it doesn't matter how I got here.
So yes, last night was thoroughly enjoyable. And ordinary night but one that meant more than it's simplicity.
Another thing I am also enjoying at the moment is people saying similar things to me.
Or people saying that I should do so and so because I'll love it.
I'm enjoying this because it reminds how people do actually know me.
Most the time though I will get pissed of at people if they say I should do anything because I can be a very spiteful individual and will do the opposite of what people say just because they told me to do it, regardless of what my real feelings on the subject are.
But at the moment I am enjoying it and making the most of it.
Oops. I have gone this far and forgot it's my sisters birthday.
I need to go to the shop and get some milk then bake a cake.
Then we're all going out for a curry this evening. So I get to schedule this for an auto-post!
I could just post it now, but I enjoy playing with things such as auto-posting. The geek that I am.
Speaking of which, I need to order more Sin City.
I should probably go now as I'm sure I have managed to talk to much once again, and that cake won't bake itself.
I know. Jimmy Eat World again? Yes. I go through phases where I listen to them loads. Mainly in summer though. But I crave the summer, hence I listen to summer bands. I enjoy this songs lots, despite how epically emo it is. It is one of my favourite songs to play as it's just so... what's the word... bouncy? I miss the summer a lot. I just want some grass and my bare feet. Or a beach!
I believe in the sand beneath my toes, the beach gives a feeling, and earthly feeling. I believe in the faith that grows, and the four right chords can make me cry. When I'm with you I feel like I could die, and that would be alright. Alright!
Sorry, I broke into song there. I'm actually going to go now.
I feel I talk to much so I shall try to be concise tonight. I also can't be arsed talking on and on either.
I read all of the first Sin City last night in one sitting. It was Marv-elous! Anyone get the pun? Thought not.
This now means that I need to buy the rest.
I said that this year I would try and do more arty things but so far those words have remained hollow. But reading so many comics is bound to be a virtue and not a vice as I'm sure it will inspire me more.
I also said I should play more guitar and do more music related activities.
And I am doing okay on that front. Like today after my shower I played guitar until I was dry. No need for a towel when you have Rory.
Still, I was just playing along to my iTunes but that will again inspire me.
So I hope.
I had work today. Started at 12pm not 6am which was a blessing. Finished at 4pm. A nice short day.
Seemed to take forever though as the shop is so dead and there was nothing for me to do apart from little things. But I do love the little things sometimes, like putting stickers on bags. Slow, steady, mundane and meditative - beautiful.
Not sure what to do tonight. I don't want to do anything really.
I would be happy just to sit in the corner hugging the lamp light and reading The Road until I fall asleep.
Last night I went to my fathers and I actually wanted to go for a change.
Not for the company, I just had lots of books and films there that I wanted to liberate. I know have my nose in three books but I really want to start reading Sin City. I might just start it anyway.
I also forgot that I had Spaced, so that's a lot of tv I need to watch. I love Simon Pegg. I wish I had a friend like him, or when I grow up I hope to be just like him. Either or will be good.
I also rescued Pulp Fiction from my dads. I got that for Christmas because I had never seen it and really wanted to.
It's a little odd that a person such as I that watches such a high number of films would not of seen such a classic.
I don't know why that is. Maybe because I was only four when it came out and no one in my family owns it and I can never remember it being on tv.
There are a few high profile films I am yet to see, one of them being The Godfather. Yep, you heard me, I still haven't seen The Godfather.
But today, at least I got to cross Pulp Fiction off my to-watch-list.
And what a film it is.
It's up there with the best.
It's such a well rounded film coming full circle, in a way, as it starts and finishes at the same point. And the middle is a jumble of characters and time lines.
It's a straight forward story but you wouldn't think it would be because of the jumble of characters and time line, and that made me love it all the more.
Maybe it is just because when I used to watch films with gangsters in I would be really confused and therefore hate the film. The Departed was the film that stopped that trend, and that too is an amazing film.
Pulp Fiction is beautiful. Probably not in the conventional sense, more in the hot hooker sense. The sort where you have to have her there in the car because you wouldn't be able to drive twenty yards down the road and fight the will to rip her clothes off. I think this metaphor isn't going to well so I am going to leave it now.
Let's just say it's one of my very favourite films.
After Pulp Fiction I didn't know what to do, so I watched 5x2. A French film because I am so very cultured.
That was a film which told a love story in reverse. From a couples divorce to the when they first met. It was told in five different scenes and it was a pleasing film.
It had one of those revealing sex scenes in where you wonder how on Earth are they pretending to have sex without actually having sex. Is his dick taped to his leg or something to stop it poking places? Who knows.
And no, I wasn't just watching some French porno.
It was nice to watch a film with such a happy ending, but if only they knew they weren't going to last. They started out so infatuated and in love, only to get divorced and hate each other - isn't life wonderful?
Wow, that was pessimistic. I apologise.
This film made me wish I was a tall, bearded Frenchmen.
Go to a cafe, drink some coffee from a tiny cup, smoke a cigarette, eat a bloody steak, go to a dinner party which then becomes an orgy.
I must point out that I am not actually ignorant and stupid, I just enjoy to make blanket statements. I'm sure not every French dinner party ends in an orgy...
I'll probably watch another film tonight as it's been a while since I have had a film day.
I have probably also bored you enough for another day so I shall leave you with one the greatest moments in cinema.
As I said, I watched Parallel Worlds, Parallel Lives last night. It is one of the best things I've seen.
Imagine this; quantum mechanics to the backdrop of the EELS, it's like my version of porn.
Quantum mechanics is fascinating, and the idea of parallel universes is something that appeals to me greatly. It is also something that makes sense to me and it was the conclusion I came to myself when pondering the universe and fate.
Sometimes I miss physics as it was something I was good at and something that was enjoyable. Not all the work was fun, but the thought provoking side to it all was amazing. It was just a series of events that lead me to leaving physics behind.
I don't regret it though as even though I find it really interesting it's not something that I would call a passion. I could not be a scientist sat in his lab writing paper after paper and never getting recognition.
Music though, that's probably a passion of mine but I can never imagine how I could incorporate it into my life other than just having it as a hobby. But a hobby will keep me sane all the same.
And Mark Oliver Everett. I love him so much. He is without doubt my hero, and it's nice to have a living hero for once as my list of heroes is:
Joe Strummer
I may have some other heroes but I can't think of any others right now that are real people and not fictional characters.
I'd love to have a conversation with Everett and after that conversation he would most likely be my best friend. I doubt he would return the love.
Back to today. I woke up far to early today and have been feeling a bit weird. Similar to when I donated blood so the only logical explanation for this is that last night while I was asleep a vampire came and drank some of my blood.
"But Dan, wont you become a vampire?" I hear you ask.
No, I wont. See they only took my blood and I didn't drink from theirs so I'll be fine, I'll just be feeling a bit fainty for the day.
Luckily I am reading the book The Vampire Watchers Handbook: A Guide for Slayers so if they come back I'll be ready.
I've been catching up on all the various films and programs I recorded over the holidays and today that included White Noise 2: The Light.
The sole reason for why I wanted to watch this film was because it had Nathan Fillion in it.
And if I ever meet a girl who loves him for the same reason as I do, well chances are I will marry that girl.
The film though was a very enjoyable one regardless of Fillion, but he made it all the better. It wasn't a comedy but it did have a couple of moments of his hilarious humour. And there was also a Firefly reference thrown it there too because the majority of people who would of watched that film would do it for the same reason as myself.
It started as a good film with some occasional humour and gave you a good warm feeling towards humanity. But then it became darker as more pieces were put together and things were no longer as simple as you once thought.
There was also a character called Sherry Clarke and I know someone called Sherri Clarke. If I had been a strong, paranoid believer in the paranormal I would of been worried about this, but as I am not, I was not.
A good film all in all made all the better by the beautiful face or Mr. Fillion.
The first White Noise was also a good film, and a far more chilling one until the final climax.
Sadly, film corporations don't like films where there is no physical villain and though out White Noise there was no villain, just three ghosty figures that would occasionally flash upon the screen. And my word those mother fuckers didn't half make me jump.
But the final climax these figures were now physical apparitions and that ruined the fact that they could be anywhere and could get you at anytime.
The film corporations don't think we can handle a film where the evil has no form and cannot he harmed. They don't like evil prevailing over good. They think the audience don't want to be reminded of their morality and then on top of that have a villain that could strike you down at any moment for no reason.
I say fuck off to them. I can handle myself just fine.
And sometimes I want to watch a film that leaves me feeling empty afterwards because if a film has such an affect on me like that, then it is going to be a great film.
