I dream about so much it is absurd.

This is how I feel when I walk to work. When you are all tucked up in your warm beds I am singing this to myself.

As I was trying to get to sleep last night I was hindered by many thoughts. My thoughts were about work and how I cannot get my head round why people want to do it. People think I am lazy and have no ambitions but that's not true, I just care about other things.

And who really has an ambition to sit in an office all day doing a job that makes no difference in the world while your boss berates you because he had to sleep on the sofa again last night as his wife caught him screwing yet another secretary. Seriously, who has such ambitions?

So yes, it's been little over a month at my job and I am already having the usual Dan thoughts of 'what's the point?'.

As impulsive as I can be I'm not going to kick it all in, that would be stupid.

If I was earning money for a family I'd be fine, however I am just earning money for me.

And I don't even know what I am saving it for, probably university...

With all my thoughts about how unnatural working feels for me I began to wonder about what is natural in human life. I pondered love. When did that come into humanity?

At the beginning you'd want a mate for offspring, but did we always love our mates.

Or did we just see them as someone to produce offspring.

Did we try and protect them and look after them just so they would be safe and could produce more offspring.

Did this protection then create fuzzy, warm feelings.

Where did it all come from?

I'm not saying that it's a bad thing, but last night as I wondered it just didn't make much sense at all.

Humans are a peculiar being, but some of them are alright.

Today I have been in a cheerier mood post-work. I think it's a sad reality that I will spend a third of my life asleep and another good proportion working. I'm just going to have to fill my free time with lots of life and living and when the going gets tough I'll just sing the Ballad of Serenity to myself.

But today has been good. And in all my cheer I experienced another moment where I had to question if the universe had some sort of consciousness to it. I was in the kitchen with my mother and sister and in one hand I had a pie dish, the other hand contained a can of squirty cream. It felt like the universe had purposely put me in control of such a situation and I could not fight it.

Maturity went out the window, and a cream pie in my sisters face.

I don't really think it was a cause to find faith though as I am still here and still not believing. In all honesty the idea of a God, a heaven or some eternal bliss scares me much more than nothingness.

I've kept you long enough now. Hush Dan.