It has been lovely not doing this. I haven't felt tethered to something. And it's nice to not talk to a pair of imaginary ears, nice and not pathetic.
The other night was messy. Celebrating Jamie's birthday. It hurt, and it hurt for a good twenty-four hours afterwards. Not just small talk about the night, no, there are traits in myself to highlight.
Like I sorta wanted to get with someone but I didn't want to take the reigns so to speak, the back seat was for me as I didn't really want to drag someone into my own frustrations.
That wouldn't be nice.
But I was thinking of myself really, my image and the awkwardness that could follow.
Resent events mean that I wont be able to get to know a certain person I wanted to get to know better. I wanted to get to know her better for all the wrong reasons at the time, but the resent events would make it less frowned upon, but still frowned upon. Cryptic, I know, but I have to cover my tracks just incase anyone actually reads this. Anyway, I shall live as I'm sure my mind will forget all in a month.
Pointless to be truthful when the truth is hidden away? I don't think so, I just like to write my thoughts because once they are written down I can then use that part of my mind that was thinking about it to think about something new.
The OC is still going down a right treat. And whenever I watch something I relate to the situations and characters. At the moment I will be so bold to say Buxton is my Newport, and in this situation I would be Seth. I say this because it feels like a cage to me, but it isn't full of fake people at least. There are few similarities other than the fact I want to leave Buxton, but as I said, this is me.
But last night I was sat on the slopes and looking around, and I was thinking that it is a pretty place and I will miss aspects of it.
Yeah, I can't think of any other real reasons to my relating to Seth's feelings.
I must be annoying to people who see this trait of mine. I'll just find someone who finds it adorable.
Anywho, I'm going to watch The Thing with my mum. Despite how annoying she is I do love her, and in this case I love her annoying ability to watch anything. She'll watch anything just to be entertained, whereas I like to think I am a little deeper than that. I'm probably not, but don't shatter my ideas.
But tonight, I'm not annoyed with her for watching something she has no idea about. I'm probably just happy to have a bit of company while watching a horror, it's all new to me.
So I shall just have to find a woman who finds my fly away mind adorable and who also watches horror films.
She must also be red headed, not too tall, nice and curvy, play the cello or something of equal coolness, dabble in a little guitar too but must also have room for me to improve her life with such delights as Firefly, Tammany Hall NYC and myself.
I jest, I'm not that shallow.
Only a little, for I do mean it when I say I will only marry a beautiful person because if I am to awake next to her for the rest of my days I might as well awake to a beautiful sight that a scary one.
I'm sure you all think the same, I can just admit it.
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