2 group invitations.

I really am fickle. Remember yesterday when I was all moody? Well I did sit down in the cellar with music, coffee, some books and drew. I did this until just before midnight where I was too tired to carry on (only for the caffeine to kick in once I was in bed). It really made me happy doing that.
There were parts of the night where I was singing away happily in different voices even though I'm pretty sure you can't get high off graphite. Maybe it was all the radon. Or maybe it was just a good old fashioned good mood.
And this is why I keep myself to myself with most things because I know myself pretty well so I know how easily my mind, heart and moods will change.
If I vocalised every passing thought I have ever had I'd be typing this from inside a mental institute because people would brand me as crazy if I spoke every thought.
I'm sure this is nothing personal to me as everyone is like that too.
Maybe I have trust issues. I wonder about this often but I don't think I do, I just prefer to listen than talk. Unless I am drunk and I have just met someone for the first time, then I will pour my heart out and cry on them.

Today I am going to complain about Facebook. But first, do you think we will all still use it when we are thirty? And if we do, imagine how many photos will be on there.
Facebook used to be better but now I feel too many pierced queer teens of cyberspace are leaving MySpace for Facebook. Then all the endless annoying applications. Yeah, they can let you know more about a person which is a good way to socially network but call me old fashioned I prefer a conversation rather than stupid little quizes with stupid questions written by stupid little twelve year olds.
Then all those groups! These annoy me more than the fan pages because when I think of a group I think that has to have discussions and such. The fan pages are still annoying and some make no sense at all. I saw one that was called something along the lines of "we used to be really close but now it's like we don't know each other". If you become a fan of this I would read it as you're a fan of growing apart from people, you actually enjoy not knowing someone when you used to be really close.
Come on people, think!
People also like to invite me to groups. Yesterday I was invited to that one titled 1,000,000 people who don't want Cameron as the next PM. I didn't join but neither do I want to have him as our next Prime Minister. I probably wont vote either.
But really, people are actually thinking that if a Conservative government gets in then the country will fall apart. You wankers. Do you not know a thing about the world we live in. We're lucky, we live in a county with democracy. Try living in a military junta in Burma where if you are as bold enough to complain about the government there, well there is no telling what will happen to you. Remember about three years ago with the huge pro-democracy uprising? Normal, oppressed people taking to the streets in the hope of having the one thing we take for granted, and what happened to them? That's right, the military crushed them. Went round monasteries and arrested monks, beat them to death and opened fire on students.
But no, you're all probably right. If the Conservatives get into power then it probably will be the end of the country.
And the name of the group, only a million people against him? The UK has just shy of sixty-one million people. That's just me being pernickety.
Do feel free to complain about the Conservatives though, I do. Just make sure you put things into perspective.

Wait, there's still more!
I was also invited to something about meat free Monday's.
So everyone doesn't eat meat for one day for a week and the planet is saved. Make sense?
Wrong!
(Please note that what I am about to ramble on about is not at all referenced or researched, I'm just using my knowledge and common sense. Much like I did with all my coursework).

So the world eats less animals there will be less animals because supply and demand will have decreased. Yes, that is correct. However just because we stop eating meat for one day a week doesn't mean we eat less food a week. No, it means we will have to substitute meat for something else. Firstly, fish, depending on if you think it's meat or not. If you are going to eat fish each Monday more fish will be needed and that means more fishing. So more boat trips is obviously going to pump more carbon into the atmosphere. Or setting up more fish farms will require production of many materials.
Arguable, substituting fish for meat one day a week could be better in the long run.
However most people will not eat meat or fish, they will eat vegetables. And more of them.
So the land you saved from having animals on will now be full of plants. That's good isn't it. They are going to take in carbon dioxide and give out oxygen. How lovely of them.
But all these plants are going to be harvested. And that will mean the carbon and nitrogen cycles will be broken as these plants will take nutrients from the soil but not replenish them when they die and decay. This means that over time your soil is going to become less and less fertile. Now there are two things that can be done here, you can go get some new and fertile land or you can fertilise the old land. Places like Brazil will cut down more rainforest to get to the fertile land and grow more crops and in this case the rainforest is going to recycle far more air than the crops could meaning a net loss for the planet.
So we could fertilise the land. Ah but you see, we have less farm animals now because we're all eating less meat which means there is going to be a lot less natural fertiliser. That's okay though because we can make more chemical fertilisers like nitrogen phosphorus potassium. Ah shit, I forgot, chemical plants are bad too.
Bugger, what do we do now?
We have our wish of eating less meat but the planet is no more saved than it was when we ate more meat.
I'm incredibly cynical when it comes to the planet. I don't believe it can be saved. But there isn't anything to save, global warming is natural we just happen to make it a little bit worse. The world's population is increasing and there is little we can do about that. And with an increasing population we are going to need more food which means clearing more land. We are going to need more homes which means clearing more land.
There is no way we can accommodate a growing population while counteracting global warming. But we can add less to it by being less wasteful and such.
We can't stop change, we can only adapt for it.
It's nice that people have good intentions, but maybe think out the logistics of how not eating meat will save the planet.

And so concludes today.

Castaways and Cutouts

This seems to be getting boring now, I just talk about my days and not much else.
I should change that, talk about more interesting things and provoke more thoughts.
Today is not the day for change though as I just want to be left alone. There is no chance of that though.
Just leave me be, I want to be anti social and spend my time in the cellar. If I wanted to talk I would start a conversation. Sure, your constant talking and questioning may mean you have some interest but doesn't my tone of voice tell you to leave.
I keep myself to myself, every thing's just a whole lot easier that way.

I am supposed to give blood today. I'm not going to. It's purely for selfish reasons as I still feel a little groggy and if I go lose a pint of blood I am not going to feel any better at all. Plus, as I feel shit then I might pass out and then they can't take my blood anyway, so I am saving everyone some hassle.
And I'm not being a pussy because last time I might of got a bit to anxious and got all light headed. I didn't even pass out, I was doing just fine but they decided to stop it.
I'll just go to a session later on in the month, or next month. Point being I will definitely go, just today I don't feel up to it.
Speaking of donating things, when the organ donation advert comes on tv it makes me feel better than you all. I'm a registered donor so that advert is not for me, it's only use is to make me feel superior to everyone else. And that sure is a good feeling.
I don't see why more people don't donate themselves. Why burn something or leave it in the ground when you could go let someone live. If I have children and if something would ever happen to result in the death of one of those children I'd definitely let them use their organs to go let another child live. What's the point of letting two people die when one can save the other?
Death is the only thing you can count on in life, so why not make something of it.

That filled up some space, and the rest of the space is going to be the tale of my day as I really can't be arsed to talk much more.
I had a little bit of a movie session this morning. I got out of bed only to bring a coffee back upstairs with me where I then watched Day of the Dead as I was too tired to watch it last night.
It's a very good film and 28 Days Later has a lot in common with it. The military being there, having a massive wanker in charge, both these said wankers being portrayed by awesome actors and both films have the same idea of studying the dead/infected to learn from them. 28 Days Later's studying is much simpler, it's pretty much seeing how long it takes the infected to starve to death. Day of the Dead though, the studying of the dead is central to the story. Bub (the zombie who learns through conditioning) is one of the only characters I warm to in the film, I'm not sure why but I don't particularly like anyone else in it.
After a morning of blood and guts I went downstairs to watch Live Free or Die Hard (or if you prefer, Die Hard 4.0). It's one of my favourite action movies ever. I don't care if action movie physics are nowhere near real life physics, but when I watch an action film I want big massive explosions. I want to be entertained. I want to see a car hit a helicopter and explode.
My afternoon was eaten away by some time consuming monster. It's the only explanation of why it was five o'clock before I final got sat down to do some work. All I did was have a shower after watching my films and no way that took four hours.
Maybe this is linked to that hour I didn't notice at work. Maybe I really am a spy.
I spent a fair old chunk of money on various bits today. I got things to play with like make-up, latex and moulding wax. £72.29.
They should be here within a week max. I can't wait until they get here however it's probably a good thing that they will take a few days to get here because I know as soon as I have them I wont draw a thing.
I also need to restrain myself from jumping in at the deep end. I really want to go all out with an excessive werewolf attack style make-up, but I will start simpler. I'm thinking slit throat. Then after than I may try and make my own prosthetics. Then I'll have a break down because I wont get it right. Then after a day or two of sorrow I will try again and do fine. Then I'll carry on and see where I end up.
This really is a very exciting point in my life, and then there is Third Eye Blind too. But today I have been in one of those moods where it takes very little for me to get pissed off which has gone and put a downer on everything.
When this happens I just lock myself away. Not for the sake of the outside world as I have no care for them, I do it for my own sake.
Gosh, I feel like I might be whining on like a whiney bitch. I'm sorry. Not sorry for you having to listen, I'm sorry if I have painted a wrong picture of myself in your head.

The God of Wine comes crashing through

Fuck. I hurt.
This thick head is more than worth it as last night was great.
Work was fine and went by quick enough but I spent most the day thinking how much I could be doing at home. And it was a first me wanting to do something.
As I was leaving work I saw a single box of Sol for £9. That was my drink sorted.
Then it was time to sort myself. Clothes and food was pretty much all I needed.

I also got myself a lift across town so I wasn't carrying my various crap there.
It just so happened that I was going to a house party the night my sister was having a joint birthday party. That got me thinking about the first parties I went to, back when I thought they were the best thing on Earth. Until sixth form happened, then going to parties became the norm.
Last night certainly was good. I drank so much I am still hurting as much as I was this morning. And by the end of the night things were coming up my throat rather than down.
It felt like how all those old parties I went to should of been, where you get to know new people or find out new things about those you already know.
Those things are better done when you're drunk because then people literally accept you open arms if you say the right words. Those words were Arkham Asylum and Nebraska.
A grand old time.

I woke with aches.
Cleaned up the house.
Made some eggy bread.
The usual post-party slow morning of tv and chat.
Anna was kind enough to give me a lift home via Morrisons where we went and saved the world together by recycling.
First thing that needed to be done once I was home, get back into my pajamas and do nothing. My stomach was churning a little and there was only one thing in the world that I wanted. A curry.
So I made a curry, only to find we had very little in the house. I found some Quorn and an onion and that had to do. There wasn't even rice, but I found some pitta bread for a stand in naan bread.
It certainly helped.
Then I lay on the sofa and didn't move until I had finished both Rescue Me and CSI.
It was a really cute episode of CSI which made me very happy. It was all about Nick and his relationship with a motel and the people there throughout a year.
My day trails off here, the rest is filled with more food and the normal things I do. Despair, read and watch a film.

I must also add, what a pretty day!
I watched it for most the afternoon out the window and it was so sunny and pretty. Those lovely soft clouds and everything was a pleasing colour.
I still miss summer. A lot.
I would of killed to just lie in the sun all day today with some music.
I'll just have to wait it out because killing someone wont really change much. Unless I killed a rich man and used his money to go somewhere hot, but then I may not enjoy it as much as I will be looking over my shoulder all the time.

Anything else...?
Oh yeah, I remember now.
I'm going to see this sight soon.

Best wishes from the past.

This has been written in the past because Saturday is a busy day for the likes of Dan.
I have to get up and shower, get ready for work and then go to work. I'm doing nine 'till five so there is no prizes for who can guess what song will be in my head all day.
Then I need to buy drink, come home, eat, then clean and ready myself and go off to a party.
I live such a hard life. I really, really do.
You want to know what is weird, I have just written all that in the future tense but when you read it I will have already done all those things.
I have made a lot of assumptions there.
I assume I haven't died. I also assume the world is in one piece. No nuclear wars, zombie apocalypses of mass flooding.

Since this is some future/past post it would seem only right to talk about time travel, or something of that nature. I'm sorry but I don't know a great deal about time travel. I haven't read and books about time travel I don't think, and neither have I seen many films about it which I could talk about.
I think we will manage to time travel one day and I think this because viruses are a very peculiar thing. They are not living, but they are replicating. And have you seen the structure of them? Well there's a picture here if you haven't. They look so science fiction, they are like some tiny, body invading spaceship. And the biology behind them is just as weird.
So it is my theory that viruses are from the future, and were brought back by a time traveling terrorist.
I must add that this is not a real theory, it's just lighthearted. But if it ever turned out viruses are from the future I wouldn't be surprised.

I have been listening to Third Eye Blind a lot for obvious reasons, but I am enjoying a bit of The Decemberists. They popped up one day on my last.fm as a recommendation and because my birth month is December their name alone caught my attention.
Thank you last.fm for that suggestion.
And it turns out they were on How I Met Your Mother, and that often has really good songs on which I keep meaning to look into, so now I have one band crossed off that unwritten list.

Yep, it's official. I know when the best day of my life will be.

5:00am was a bitch this morning. I almost didn't get up because I was mid dream when the alarm went off and I wasn't fully awake when I was turning it off.
Some voice in my head screamed work, and then I remembered why the noise was happening.
My dream was an odd one. It was about work only I was now working for Tesco. But not properly, no, I was more like a mole or a spy.
Then the whole dream evolved into some sort of supermarket espionage between Morrisons and Tesco, with sneaking around, doing those things spies do and there was even a car chase thrown in.
If only my job was so good.
However I did lose an hour at work so I am beginning to wonder if I am actually a spy who is activated by some specific word. I don't remember the hour between eight and nine actually occurring. I went up for my break at what I thought was quarter to nine, turned out it was quarter to ten so I went home after my break.
It's a good thing that I didn't notice that hour because if I had been clock watching at nine o'clock the anticipation may of killed me.
On my way home after the fastest four hours of my life I listened to Third Eye Blind and dreaded terrible news. I passed the postman and guessed that he had just posted my Sin City book.
Open my door. I hear people.
"Hi, want to hear some good news?"
We have tickets!
Nic got them in the end as she is computer literate and Bev had been talking to her.
It's not hit me. It didn't hit me when I was told. I sat down and repeated, "I'm going to see Third Eye Blind."
But I do still have a feeling of excited unrest in my stomach.
It's going to get me eventually. And on May the 12th I will not be able to sit down for sheer excitement.
Third Eye Blind. I have waited a long time for this but I never expected it to be happening now.
And how just the other day I was telling you how I had been neglecting them, then told you the story of how I fell in love with them. My life seems to be full of coincidences like that, but nothing has happened to make me think there is some kind of greater intelligence behind it all.

And for those who don't like unanswered questions. The postman did deliver my Sin City book.
It's not at all in bad condition, looks like a library book, but it saves me spending a ridiculous amount.
Sin City is so beautiful. All film noir-like style. No superheroes, in fact there isn't anyone you would consider a good hero. It's all dark and gritty, and just amazing.
But I started the second Transmetropolitan last night, so I will try and finish that today so I can read Sin City in bed later.
Speaking of books, I bought one yesterday about anatomy. I'm terrible at drawing people, so I'm hoping that this will help me by learning everything from the inside out.
I also need to buy some things like liquid latex, grease paints, alginate, gelatin and loads of fake blood. No, I'm not making some creepy and crazy sex dungeon.
I also found this amazing looking kit. Skin Wizard. Slap in on your skin and it dries to look just like third degree burns. It's a good job I have a job.
I don't think I should tell my mother what these parcels will be when they arrive. I'll just make myself look like my throat has been slit and lie and wait for someone to come home.
This is how I find entertainment, scaring people.
The louder the screams, the prouder I feel.
I'm getting pretty excited about my life now, I know what I need to do and it's going to be a fucking blast to do.

And I've never felt so alive!

I'm going to steer away from the caps lock button to express how I am in the best mood ever.
Seriously, I am.
I may use the term "best day ever" a fair old bit, but I can get enthusiastic and then exaggerate.
In the past twenty-four hours I have had two of the most exciting highs of my life. The only other day I can compare such excitement to is the day I went to see the Goo Goo Dolls. I was on a biology field trip which made everything more fun and then in the evening I went to see them. And even then, I am far more excited right now about my life.
Whatever for?
Patience, all stories have a beginning and this one begins last night.
We all went out as a family to have a curry. The curry itself was nothing special but I appear to be free of heartburn despite all that spice and lager, but that is just a tiny bit of good fortune, this is not what has me on a high.
So there we all were eating our curry and talking. The subject of university was brought up. It's not a topic I enjoy because I have heard everything at least a thousand times from everyone and so because of that I find it really hard to listen and my mind starts to wander. This talk yielded nothing new.
Same things being said.
"You're really clever, Dan. It would be a real shame."
"I know you'll make something of yourself, make lots of money because that's the person who you are."
I hate when people say this.
I am not clever. I'm nothing special at all. I'm not thick but I am not at all clever.
I had good GCSE grades, but what does that matter, they are piss easy.
My A-levels were nothing special as I did do pretty much shit all in year thirteen.
I'm just an average person who has a habit of losing effort in things.
I can pick up things easy enough, and remember plenty of things so I can write a page all about the lymphatic system but having a good memory for things doesn't mean I am clever.

And I am not being modest here, I am just not as clever as people like to think I am. Even if I was, I don't care enough to ever do something about it.
Then the money thing. Money is not something I covet. Sure I'd love to be rich so I could just do what I want, when I want but I don't want money for it's value, if you follow my ramblings.
Only one person has ever noticed that about me and it was one of those lovely shocks in life. It was my old chemistry teacher. She was one of the worse when it came to talking about university, she'd tell me to go and I'd say I hate her. A good relationship.
However she was the only one to see how I am not money minded.
Anyway, I'm starting to get off topic here. So we were eating curry, talking about university amongst other things. So when I got home I thought I should have another look.
I didn't search on UCAS as anyone who has used it knows how godawful it is. I just googled things I liked and put course on the end.
Design - Media Make-up. It's one I never found on UCAS, but I wasn't one for looking hard. There was one at Bolton but that didn't strike me as a place I would like to spend two years. Plus it's only a foundation so I don't know what that does to loans and grants.
Now listen to this:
Pathway two Subjects covered include: -Body art - Hair design - Special effects make-up - Casting and mould making.
Awesome!
Special effects is something I have been thinking about for some time now, but I never made a decision. Now though, I'm just going to nail it down and go follow that for a few years and see where I end up.
Reading about this got me incredibly excited.
But with every high, there's a drop.
I was hit it the stomach by all the things that stood in my way. I have good grades to apply, however nothing in creative subjects. I'm slowly scraping together a portfolio but with this coming along is going to speed that up. But will that be enough? Or would I have to go do a art foundation or something like that? What if I can't get on one of those? Then if I do, will it be this year or next year? If it's next year then I would be 21 when I would be back for the other course and would I then be a mature student?
But I'd be coming off the tail end of education so I wouldn't be returning to education when I was 21, would I?
Past Dan, you prick! Why did you do science, fucking cock. Would it of been so hard to of done art, really?
You don't need to answer my questions, I'm going to ring the college and ask them everything. I don't worry often, but when I do I worry big time. This is one of those times.
I don't need to worry. I bet I could get on the course with one picture and an awesome personal statement. I like to think I can write awesome personal statements because I sent my CV to just one job vacancy, and got that job.
Told you, I'm a bastard. Most things just seem to work out for me.
With all this running through my mind last night I couldn't get to sleep for ages. I was doing my special of day dreaming. About being on some awesome course, meeting loads of interesting people. Pretending to be interested at art exhibitions but then going to see a film. Going out in the city, making a band, playing seedy little venues. Sleeping on the train covered in paint and make-up. Doing make-up for some hot girl who is then so bold to as ask me out.
Good times.
And I am sure I will make them all happen. I just need to get on with loads of things right now.

Those of you with a good memory will remember I said I was feeling amazing because of two things. I have covered one, so here is the second.
This morning I was on the internet in bed, nothing new.
"Oh look, Third Eye Blind have a post... now way... no fucking way... European tour!!!"
I click the link.
Look down the small number of dates, and there it is. At the bottom.
Thursday the 13th of May.
London.
I literally have never been this excited in my entire life. Today is not the best day of my life, but today is when I found out when the best day of my life will be.
I'm sure you all know how much this means to me because anyone who has ever been near me knows how much I love Third Eye Blind and how they are the number one band I need to see.
There is no better way to wake up than with getting the best news like that.
I love my life, it's the best life in the world!
But like I said, what goes up must come down.
I got scared, and I am still very scared.
Third Eye Blind are not at all big over here, but they do have a big fan base and they are playing just one date in the whole of the UK after not being to Europe since the '90s, I think. What I don't get a ticket?
If I don't, I will cry like I have never cried before. Then I will spend £100 on Ebay for a fake ticket and cry some more. Then go to London and sit outside the venue and cry, cry, cry.
The tickets also go on sale to the public tomorrow at 9.00am. Right in the middle of my shift at work so I will not be at a computer screen until about 10.30am. That's an hour and a half, they could all be gone!
I have already sent the information to my sister who will no doubt be coming with me. If I have not heard from her later I will ring her and see if she can get the tickets, or if maybe Seb could. Maybe Seb will want to come, or Tom. There are beacons of hope around the country who might be able to get the tickets.
And they must be bought, I must be there. Seeing Third Eye Blind is one of the highest things on my really-need-to-do-before-I-die list.
And I also have this image in my head of Bev and myself driving to London on a warm May day. Windows down, Third Eye Blind playing as loud as it can and us singing all the way there.
I really can't tell you how excited I am. But I am also shit scared. I never wanted something so badly and if I miss this it will be the biggest heartbreak known to man. Ever.

And that is that. The two huge things with huge possible downsides.
Even with that, I am still the most excited I have ever been. Trying to get to sleep on Christmas Eve as a child doesn't even come near to this moment here.
I have no idea how I will sleep tonight and I have to up at 5.00am tomorrow.
But if I get a ticket to that show, I will be riding this high all the way to May and sleep will not be an issue at all.

Even that gives me shivers. Death is actually a really issue if I get a ticket.
If I can see Stephan Jenkins only feet away I think I might actually die.

This sentimentality doesn't look good on me.

I've been doing this now for an entire month.
It feels like it has been a long month. Christmas seems a life time ago.
I find December goes by really quick then January drags on and on. But this January has been top so I have been enjoying it's slow pace. And it's not over yet, I have a little more left to cram into it and also more alcohol to cram into my body.
So yeah, whole month. Congratulations, well done - yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've talked too much lately so today I'm not going to bother.
I did also watch a video journalism documentary about Burma so I could talk on and on today. Vomiting my hatred everywhere and calling you all names for being cocks.
People sometimes say if you have nothing nice to say, then say nothing at all.
I have nothing at all to say.

Actually, I do have one nice thing to say. I had a nice hug with my FDNY hoody last night. I was all sleepy and comfy after watching Shameless, so I grabbed that and put my arms in it and bundled the rest over my chest and head. I could of died I was that comfy. Turned on a program about the US Coast Guard and watched all the beautiful sun kissed Jayhawks. It was a lush way to spend the night.
I do love that hoody. It is one of the few things I would grab in a house fire.
Rory, my guitar (the other, Richie, I don't really love him so he can burn and be replaced).
My FDNY hoody.
Then either my iPod or MacBook, whichever is easy to get as I would just want my music collection.
I might grab my coat as that's on my door so it would be easy enough to get, and it's so big and pretty.
I don't think there is anything else I would want to get. I don't have any photographs in my room as I don't take any. I have no special dvds, cds or books from anyone that I couldn't just get a new one.
Oh, I'd get a pair of shorts. The ones I got from Greece because not only are they really nice, they will forever remind me of many great memories there.
Erm, there isn't much in my room that I would be sad if I lost. I have my walls covered in various things which I either find pretty or they relate to some specific memory, but I wouldn't miss any of it.
In fact I want to get rid of quite a lot because some bits are from when I was back in school which I no longer care about.
As the title of this post would suggest, I'm not the most sentimentalist of people. I have practically nothing in my possession that has some sentimental meaning to me. I have plenty of things that have a story to go along with them but I can't think of much that makes me think "If I lost this, I'd be heartbroken".
Shit! Sorry, I said I wouldn't talk and you went and made me talk.

Anywho, here is a video.
It's a song that generates many good videos, generally along the same lines of each other.
Most the time I hate a song being heavily religious, but I like this one.

Is that a blessing in disguise?

What better way to start the day than with some NFL.
I love how grand it is. Huge fans infatuated by it all, massive and colourful stadiums. And cheerleaders!
It's why I love a lot of American things, they never do anything half arsed, it's always full on and larger than life.
I watched the playoff highlights because it's almost Super Bowl Sunday. I've seen enough of it to understand the rules. I get all your 1st & 10, 1st & 6 and if you don't convert a 4th down into a 1st then you lose possession.
There's a lot more I still don't get, but I have the basics down which makes it possible to watch it, and it sure is exciting to watch.
I have no preference with teams because as I am not American I feel no loyalty to a particular team. Unlike NHL, that's all about the Ducks and that is Disney's fault for making that awesome cartoon.
But yeah, I have no set preference for football, it's just fun to watch.
Saying this though, neither of the two teams I wanted to win the playoffs won. I wanted the Vikings to win because their quarterback, Favre, had come out of retirement at the age of 40 to take them to the Super Bowl. They were so close and took the game to over time but were eventually beaten by a Saints field goal.
The other game I wanted the Jets to win because they were against the Colts. A real David versus Goliath game. For the first quarter the underdogs were doing really well, only for them to be inevitably beaten.

I want the Saints to win the Super Bowl as they have never got that far before, whereas the Colts won it only four seasons ago. Now I just need some beer, crisps, dips and male friends to make Super Bowl Sunday amazing. Chances are though I will just get drunk and fat on my own in the middle of the night.
Look at me, talking about sport. Just like a real man.
And another reason why American sport is so much more better, one of the commentators said something along the lines of: "it's like inviting some guy you don't really like to your party, and him going off with your girlfriend."
It was to do with the Saints giving away the perfect season to put them in a better position for winning the season.
It's a hilarious simile, and just another example of how they make everything larger than life and far more enjoyable.
No British commentator would say such a thing, they're too boring and, well... British.

Enough of that for now.
Erm, what else do you not care to hear about?
I no longer miss doing my journal anymore. It was kinda like a pet, something you had to do but might not of enjoyed so much and then when they die you're free. Maybe I am using this as a substitute, but I doubt that because if that were true then you would be a very poor substitute. I mean a really, really, really shit one.
And speaking of pets, I have been listening to Third Eye Blind more of late (the connection will make it's self clear soon). I have been neglecting them recently even when they were once my favourite band. Everyone knew it too, I'd go on about them all the time and more so when I was drunk. I don't do that emotional drunk stuff, I just throw my musical taste upon people.

So the the pet connection. I've been wanting to watch A Knight's Tale but I can't as my dvd is still in some Center Parcs dvd player. The soundtrack for that film is a very good one and my aunt bought it and copied it for me because I was in a low point in my childhood years. It was November 2002 and both my hamster and dog had died so receiving this cd was definitely a pick me up. Among the great songs on this cd there was a particular one I took a shine for. Eye Conquerer by Third Eye Blind.
This song remained one of my top played one for a fair few years. My sister would tell me I should get more Third Eye Blind and I always intended to but I would often forget. Until finally in January 2008. It was the weekend and I was having a shower while the radio played loudly in my room. When I came back into my room a familiar song was playing, I remembered hearing it as a child but couldn't remember anymore about it other than it was good. Then Helen Mason said it was Third Eye Blind with Semi Charmed Life. That moment there made me go and get their albums, and what a brilliant decision that was.
I like to think about all the tiny little things that lead me to find one of my favourite bands.
Ignoring all the things before they were a band, otherwise we'd be here for a long time.
There is them writing Semi Charmed Life and it becoming a smash hit of '97. There is the radio stations playing this and implanting it into my head ready for the future. There is my sister being at the right age to notice music and fall in love with Third Eye Blind. There is my mother meeting Paul which brings me into contact with Bev. And with Paul there also comes the decision to have a radio station. Then there are my pets dying and me receiving a cd. There is the filmmakers deciding to have Third Eye Blind on that cd. There is me liking that. Then there is us getting a radio station and not the other company. There is Paul letting us choose songs to put on the radio playlist. There is Bev choosing Third Eye Blind. Then there is me being in the right place at the right time to hear that song. Then there is Helen naming the track, because otherwise I probably would of never looked into it.
That there is a lot of little things coming together to have a big effect on my life. This is why I love the complexity of life and how every little thing interacts with everything around it. One simple difference in choosing yes over no can lead to a huge difference if you had chosen no over yes.
This is why I cannot believe in fate. The idea that my free will is nothing more than a story that's already been written, that's a terrifying thought.

And on lighter note, the tv just said thirty tonne semi. I giggled like a girl.

They're all too busy fighting for a good place under the lighting

The word crazy does not even begin to describe the dreams I had last night.
They were very deep and the big full on, you can almost touch them dreams.
I'm taking this to be a good sign because most my dreams are practically nothing different from everyday life, I would pretty much dream about going to work, going to sixth form, meeting up with people I know. It didn't make going to sleep much fun.
But last night my brain was on fire. Maybe from all that Spaced I watched, and How I Met Your Mother. Or that I actually drew something and played guitar and got excited about something.
The reason doesn't really matter as the product was fucking immense!
And speaking of sleep, I got twelve hours of the stuff. Didn't get up till twelve o'clock.
That is a huge deal because I wake up at around half past eight no matter what time I go to bed. The extra sleep was very welcome.

Todays movie was Quadrophenia.
A good enough movie. Seven out of ten.
I'm no fan of the Mod subculture. I don't think the music was good enough to warrant such a following.
Wearing suits was pretty cool and I like suits. It's just a real big shame that the suits had to be stuck to the Mods. And their hair was ghastly. Gross.
But the film was good. It's always nice to watch an old craze with subcultures. It happens every generation as now we have chavs and emos.
It's one thing I look forward to about having kids, seeing what they will love. What music will there be, and then I get to surround them in my music and get called old for it. They'll love me for it.

I finished Spaced last night. There could be a third series one day but I don't mind if there isn't because the second one ended on a high. Sure there were still questions and possible story lines to follow, but it ended at an ending, if you follow.
And I am used to watching short running programs. The longest being five seasons.
Apart from CSI, that's on season nine and I am still watching. However in that, the story and character development is all but gone. You might only see one character for five minutes now whereas in season two everyone would be there all the time. I just can't help but keep watching it as there are occasional moments of good tv but the whodunit element is fast slipping away too. I hope it ends at season ten because at this rate I'll have to give up and throw in the towel.
Back to Spaced.

Awesome stuff. It's the kind of program that leaves me chuckling all the way through and there will be one simple sentence, sometimes just a word which will make me laugh far too much.
And the quirky bunch of misfits they are, I wish I was in a group of people like that.
I'll find them eventually.
Until then though, I will carry on watching films and tv, reading books and wishing all these fictional characters were sat in my room with me.
And some of them, well I wish they were in my bed if you know what I mean.
Kaylee could get my engine running.
Mary Jane would get me web slinging.
Summer would get me hot under the collar.
I'd like to morph with Tonks.
Lily, I'd... I'm struggling with an innuendo here. I'd smell that flower...? No, doesn't work. Maybe something about stems. I dunno. Anyway, Lily, I'd totally do her.
I'd make that flower blossom? Maybe that one will do.
That's probably enough of my fantasies now. Well, for now at least.

What else did my day yield that I wish to discuss with you?
Oh yeah, I had a heart to heart with my mum. Well as close as I will ever got to a heart to heart with a family member. I feel like I should make more effort with talking to my family about things but I rarely have anything I need to talk about.
I do enjoy having my family around but most the time I just like to fade into the background. I like things happening around me so that I can just step back from it all.
I am good at talking when I need to. This month is a fine example of that and how I have said more that I thought I ever would.
Actually, I knew I would say it all because I plan conversations in my head all the time but most the time I have not a lot to talk about when it comes to myself because I do my best to avoid melodrama. I don't like to whine about something when I know come next week I wont give a shit.
I'm also a person who finds it incredible easy to let go of things, so whereas some people need to talk, I can just let go of something.
And might I add, it's the best way to live. You could die at any moment so why let yourself be eaten up by the past. Go out into the world, climb high, run forward and see how far you can go before you die.
Yeah, I'm very bad at inspiring people and offering advice.