Good morning, wintery showers!

These last few days of March have been dragging their heels big time, but now they can't drag no more as tomorrow is April.
April means I can plant my pumpkin ready for Hallowe'en. Writing this I have only just realised I probably wont be here at Hallowe'en, this means he'll probably die at the hands of my mother's green fingers. Unless I kill it first.
And April also means I'm all the more closer to Third Eye Blind.

Had a little shopping trip today, got the usual unconnected things like lots of gelatin and a book on mythology. Whatever keeps me busy.

They'd be a picture here of a hand cast I made, however I wasn't all that liberal with the vaseline and now I have less hair on my arm.
I might try again now as I'm fresh out of things to do. Plus, what's better than watching tv while painting latex over body parts? That's right, nothing.

Pizza.

Shush, my head hurts. Big time headache, I'm assuming it's a headache but I can't rule out that someone didn't drive an ice pick into my brain last night. If they did, they did a very clean job of it.
We do have a new person at work now. I like it, I can delegate. Or today I just hid round the back while she watched the counter. Pretending to do work is so much more rewarding.
I can't wait till next week because I'm sure I'm back to my much beloved three day week. I haven't checked the rota this week to see if it has been changed, I dare not incase it has.

I'm waiting for my pizza to cook. I'm really excited about it, like everything. It's one of those Pizza Express ones. I come in from work and find a note that leads me to pizza, I'm sure this is how a king must live.
And to think I thought I would just come and sleep when I got in, pizza always beats sleep.
I love pizza, more so now than when I was a wee child.

Ego Opinion Art & Commerce.

Nope, I just couldn't help myself. Last night I decided to do nothing and just play guitar. It was lush.
I tried to learn Motorcycle Drive By again. It's a picking song whereas I'm a strummer but at the moment I have the first four chords down to a tee. I think the problem will not lie in learning to play them all, no, it will be remembering each different chord change and plucking pattern.
I'll make sure it becomes second nature eventually.
My fingers hurt lots though, after being absent from it for ages my fingers became all soft and fleshy like normal fingers. And on my other hand I have a bone splinter in it which I can't see or get out, I'm guessing my body will push it out itself eventually.

Today I discovered Johnny Cash's American Recordings, all six of 'em. They are marvelous to say the least. And it's a good step because I really want to delve into country music and the blues. Listening to him in the car today I had that excited feeling in my stomach and felt as if I was bursting at the seams with joy.
My evening out was lovely too, my gran's birthday so we went to see her again. I love this, going to see her all the time, just another in a long list of what has made this year beautiful. I made a cake, not just any old cake. This cake recipe has a little history too it. Back in the day Neighbours always used to have someone making a chocolate cake in each episode and when my gran lived in New Zealand she me someone who was somehow affiliated with Neighbours, either directly or indirectly and she happened to have the recipe that the show used. And so this cake recipe entered our family and I sure did i justice with my kitchen skills.
I've never been one for family bonds and such, family is just something that you have and it's there but the more stories I hear the more and more I feel proud to be part of it. And with our family there are so many people and crossing paths there is an endless supply of amazing stories.

I'm so excited about seeing Third Eye Blind again. Why can't I be a little more at ease? Because it's going to the best night of my life so far, and it will forever remain in the top five I would think. It'll probably go something like: wife, children, Third Eye Blind. Unless of course the kids are twats and I divorce the wife.
This year has really come to prove itself as the best year ever. I had no intentions or hopes for it when it was starting which is probably why I am loving everything so much. Everything is one pleasant surprise after another, some small and some huge.
I've also been thinking that I finally feel like myself. I feel like Dan, and I fit into every piece of me. There is nothing wrong with my past but I always felt as if I was doing things for other people with my knowledge of it or not. Or school, you do things there because you are told to do them. Now I do things because I want to do them, every choice is my own and I don't have to factor anyones feelings because my thoughts are all very selfish now. I think about me and what I want and where I want to end up.
I wont be as bold to say that for eighteen years I have been a shell of a person, even if at times it has felt that way, because I've always been me and everything lead to here. Just right now I feel incredibly happy and all this happiness is generated by yours truly.
Life is freakin' sweet, nay, my life is freakin' sweet!

And on that list, The Goo Goo Dolls would come in fourth. 

Day light saving.

It does exactly as it says, saves daylight, so it has a really good and informing name.
I'm loving it already, a long sunny evening is my favourite and they are only going to get longer and sunnier until Autumn time.

I've been wondering what this summer will yield, I'm not so sure. I've already declined invites to two festivals this summer. It pained me but I need to be earning and not spending and then I'm going to Greece with about €300.
I'm happy with this though, I think a long, simple summer will be wonderful. Especially after the last two have started with the words: this will be the best summer ever!
No, no, some things don't need so much effort to be good.
Plus, I just want to sit outside all summer with Rory, beer and pizza.

Is yesterday, tomorrow, today?

Is it Saturday already? Not a serious question, I'm just expressing how I feel that time this week has flown by. It seemed like it was Sunday only yesterday.
Word on the grape vine, our department is getting two new people. New people, new rota and Rob back off holiday is surly going to mean that I go back to normal hours. This will be good as time is fast being eaten up and I have lots to do.

I like having an answer now when people ask me what I want to do with my life. Assuming I don't run away and join the circus, literally or not.

Hardcore Days & Softcore Nights.

Ever have those days when everything you touch turns to gold? Well today I was anything but an alchemist.
It's all good because I counted that it's less than four months before I hand in my notice at work. I'm such a pussy, can't hack anything that even resembles hard work. But what's the point, easy going life is far more rewarding.

Watched Paranormal Activity last night. I was very pleasantly surprised by it. I thought it would just be another disappointing handheld camera movie, but no it was pretty good. Big, fat, still, wide angle shots which you can't help but stare at no matter how much you don't want to. And it's the paranormal, sure fire way to unnerve me. And the ending, it kept with the simple theme of the film and didn't go for some big old (and shitty) paranormal twist. Nope, just simple honest fun.

Shower.

This tree is one eager beaver. I wonder if he is the first to blossom in Buxton.
I always forget that things blossom in spring but that doesn't change a thing, it's still my least favourite season. Lambs are about too, still nothing.

All these extra hours I'm doing are annoying, and tiring and I'm always thinking about the other things I could and should be doing. However it really is going to make a huge difference, like thousands of pounds of a difference.
One day I'll have the perfect layabout job, and I look forward to that day. Money is all the sweeter if you don't have to work hard for it.

Life, the universe and everything.

If a hundred people sleep and dream, each of them will experience a different world in his dream. Everyone's dream might be said to be true, but it would be meaningless to ascertain that only one person's dream was the true world and all others were fallacies. There is truth for each perceiver according to the karmic patterns conditioning his perceptions. 

I started to read The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying again. It's still really good and provokes so many thoughts in me and draws parallels with things I think about.
I'm still no closer to knowing what box I would tick on a form that asks me my religion.
I get thinking about it all and then I think about how I would be an awful buddhist because I couldn't be a hundred percent compassionate all the time and there would be all the other things too. But then I think that that is only normal because I am just a flawed human and I'm not enlightened. To-and-fro, to-and-fro.
Then I think that I could never reach enlightenment because I wouldn't be a hardcore follower of teachings, but then I think that I might get kudos for not being a follower and doing things in my own way, no sheep, no shepherds, just me and my mind. To-and-fro.
Yet I am starting to think there might just be something after death. I was thinking about this last night along with the feeling of being so drunk you can't remember anything.
When you are living you are aware of it and you a remembering things right as they are occurring. And when you are drunk you are still remembering things, you might say something like "I'm so drunk I wont remember this in the morning" but you are aware that you're saying it and therefore you remember it.
Now when you reach that state of drunkenness when you can no longer remember you remember nothing at all. You're not aware of anything that is unfolding in that instant so you might as well not even exist as far as you mind goes.
Now back to the grand scheme of things: We are aware that we are alive and living and existing and everything like that so there can't just be a point where everything switches off.
The point being that if we are aware of everything now there is something and will be something, because if there was nothing we would be aware of nothing at all and it would just be like being so drunk we can remember fuck all.
It made perfect sense to me last night when I explained it to myself, so that is all that matters.

I am fully aware that it's the people I am around that bring out what's good in me and last night I went to see my gran again. We got talking about the paranormal at one point and if I had been talking to anyone else telling me their stories I wouldn't believe them and just think they are crazy, but this is my gran and therefore I believe every word. Now I want to go to Bodmin Jail.
Our family is more susceptible to the paranormal and I like to believe that I am too because I get premonitions. Shitty ones albeit but it's better than nothing.
I was very happy last night and felt really happy being part of the family. I still feel a little empty when I think I have no family name to be proud of. I should be called Dan Quinn but I don't like it, he sounds like he would be a right dick. Roberts isn't my name and it technically shouldn't of been my mothers maiden name. I think it should of been Smith and the name Smith is nothing special and Dan Smith sounds so boring. I like Dan Roberts though, or maybe I'm just used to it. It's no name to be proud of.

Sometimes a walk in the rain is really nice.
Today has been a good post. Better if I had a massive audience but I'll take what I can get.

Like a bridge over troubled water.

Finally, a real day off. It's been good.
Started it with Hostel: Part Two and making a model arm. It reminded me that this is what I want to do, cover naked women in gallons of fake blood. Except on a good film because Part Two was just as bad as the first Hostel. The first one was better as it was more gory yet it was not as bad as it said it would be.
I'm getting into American Chopper loads! It's always on and I never watched it as I thought it wouldn't be for me. Happy to say that I was wrong.

I've been listened to Bridge Over Troubled Water a lot recently. It's a very enjoyable album. And who knew; Art Garfunkle is a person and that person is Simon's Garfunkle. Well, I bet the whole world knew but I have only just found this out.

I need some stamps. I have many a letter to send tomorrow. Something to do on my lunch hour.

I want to make a hannya mask. I'll do this next week if Ash turns up so I don't have a sad, long week at work. Then I'll make a realistic and horrific mask. I'll need some gelatin.