If a hundred people sleep and dream, each of them will experience a different world in his dream. Everyone's dream might be said to be true, but it would be meaningless to ascertain that only one person's dream was the true world and all others were fallacies. There is truth for each perceiver according to the karmic patterns conditioning his perceptions.
I started to read The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying again. It's still really good and provokes so many thoughts in me and draws parallels with things I think about.
I'm still no closer to knowing what box I would tick on a form that asks me my religion.
I get thinking about it all and then I think about how I would be an awful buddhist because I couldn't be a hundred percent compassionate all the time and there would be all the other things too. But then I think that that is only normal because I am just a flawed human and I'm not enlightened. To-and-fro, to-and-fro.
Then I think that I could never reach enlightenment because I wouldn't be a hardcore follower of teachings, but then I think that I might get kudos for not being a follower and doing things in my own way, no sheep, no shepherds, just me and my mind. To-and-fro.
Yet I am starting to think there might just be something after death. I was thinking about this last night along with the feeling of being so drunk you can't remember anything.
When you are living you are aware of it and you a remembering things right as they are occurring. And when you are drunk you are still remembering things, you might say something like "I'm so drunk I wont remember this in the morning" but you are aware that you're saying it and therefore you remember it.
Now when you reach that state of drunkenness when you can no longer remember you remember nothing at all. You're not aware of anything that is unfolding in that instant so you might as well not even exist as far as you mind goes.
Now back to the grand scheme of things: We are aware that we are alive and living and existing and everything like that so there can't just be a point where everything switches off.
The point being that if we are aware of everything now there is something and will be something, because if there was nothing we would be aware of nothing at all and it would just be like being so drunk we can remember fuck all.
It made perfect sense to me last night when I explained it to myself, so that is all that matters.
I am fully aware that it's the people I am around that bring out what's good in me and last night I went to see my gran again. We got talking about the paranormal at one point and if I had been talking to anyone else telling me their stories I wouldn't believe them and just think they are crazy, but this is my gran and therefore I believe every word. Now I want to go to Bodmin Jail.
Our family is more susceptible to the paranormal and I like to believe that I am too because I get premonitions. Shitty ones albeit but it's better than nothing.
I was very happy last night and felt really happy being part of the family. I still feel a little empty when I think I have no family name to be proud of. I should be called Dan Quinn but I don't like it, he sounds like he would be a right dick. Roberts isn't my name and it technically shouldn't of been my mothers maiden name. I think it should of been Smith and the name Smith is nothing special and Dan Smith sounds so boring. I like Dan Roberts though, or maybe I'm just used to it. It's no name to be proud of.
Sometimes a walk in the rain is really nice.
Today has been a good post. Better if I had a massive audience but I'll take what I can get.
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