This morning was a sad one. No grand reasons for it.
At work when I am doing some repetitive task I tune out of everything around me. Sometimes I notice that I'm doing this and have a good old think about whatever comes into my mind. A sort of meditation if you will.
I must of looked a right pathetic sight if anyone had walked into the back room and seen me.
But as soon as the clock said one I was gone.
And I walk out and I'm the happiest person on the Earth. It was so warm and I knew what this day was. It was a Hombre Lobo day (EELS album, why I bother saying though). I have never before decided that album should belong to a day, but as soon as I was outside I knew it was the only one for this particular day.
I thought about sitting in the grass with Rory, but by the time I was home and had sat down, many hours had passed with me trying to muster the energy and will to climb two flights of stairs. In reflection, this was a bad move. I'm sure that tomorrow will be another warm day so I shall embrace it twice as hard.
I have been looking at my walls for a few weeks deciding what I want to keep. My Comedian scroll and Goo Goo Dolls poster is pretty much it. Recent events have also made me think that I am glad not to be a teenager anymore. Yes, technically I still am but I am way past the ridiculous adolescent years.
My sister had a load of friends round the other day. I looked at none of them in the face and decided I hated each and everyone of them. It was fine while they were up in her room and out the way, but then they came down while I was being the epitome of cool watching Deadliest Catch.
Gouging my eyes out would of been more pleasurable.
They didn't do anything though, just the presence was enough to infuriate me.
Just being teenagers. Having stupid opinions with no base on truth. One of them thought of herself as a scientist and that Stephen Hawkins was her role model. Then they all seemed to be in agreement that Adolf Hitler was a genius! I can only guess they had history on that day and learnt something new and then decided that they knew everything. What dicks!
I was just like that too, I'd like to think I wasn't as bad and I know for sure I wasn't some lame emo, but I was still too big for my boots.
Anywho, to link back, I have been looking at my walls and none of it appeals to me anymore. I don't think I have anything left of teenage Dan anymore. I like it.
I know why they say the school years are the best years of your life, but I can't say I look back with an affectionate heart. I don't look back and hate it either.
Oh yes, whist I remember and because it links just perfect, two of my teenage dreams have come true. If they had happened when I was fourteen I would of died and gone to heaven. I'm nineteen and I don't care one bit.
I must sound so cynical.
If only you could hear the tone of voice I use. I'm not bitter, at least not always, I just can't stop the thought train.
I may go finish reading Watchmen now. It's been good.
Just good.
I feel the art lets it down.
And that it takes a spectacular book for me to use the adjective great.
No comments:
Post a Comment