Never before have I wanted something more than this and I have wanted lots of things. I always hoped that this day would arrive, I'd dream about the sequence of events but never did I fully expect it to happen. And it's hear, right in front of me, everything I could ever want.
I love how Bev shares this exact same set of emotions. We've talked about nothing else all day, and she even cried with excitement.
We went across the the fair with Curtis and it was actually fun. Normally I don't enjoy the fair but normally I don't have company as good as Bev's. There was only one big ride but it rocked. Hurt me though, it forced all the blood to the ends of my extremities and made my jaw ache loads. It soothed my aches for adrenaline so that's a plus. I'm not an adrenaline junkie, I just love massive rides and miss them because they are thin and far between. Same problem with the sea.
Everything else is great. Last night I was in a sour mood and felt like throwing my toys out the pram, but I stood firm. Fell asleep writing a song which lead to a soaring mood on my waking, made better by the waking hour being noon.
First thing done was the watching of a documentary about Ozploition films. Wow. I have a whole new catalogue of films I must see. And it furthermore concreted that I am looking down the right road with my life.
Then I went to school to talk about my reference with my old form tutor. On the way I saw people and new and had good, wholesome chats. Something unusual for me as I don't tend to talk lots. Then I talked loads to my old tutor, more in that half hour than the whole two years of sixth form. I'll happily talk on and on to anyone now it seems. A mix of reasons, I now feel like a complete person who actually has things to talk about. Aspirations and ideas, needs and wants.
And then I have had a handful of life changing experiences. I'm not using the term life changing in some dramatic way, I genuinely believe that. Every choice can set a whole new set of cogs in motion.
Speaking of my philosophies, I dreamt about a perfect girl last night. She did a beautiful cover of The Clash's One Emotion. She was beautiful.
The mind really is the key to everything, dreams prove this. I've only ever heard The Clash sing One Emotion so it was my mind that created this woman, and gave her a voice. The mind knows everything, we're just only aware of a small piece of that knowledge.
Like I said, everything is great.
I say this a lot, but there is no getting around the fact. I love everything about this moment in time.
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