So I had a play again and it worked out much better this time, still not great but a stepping stone to better myself. I will wait until I get this new book before I do anything proper.
I'd show you a picture but they are on the PC and that is like eighteen steps away so it sucks to be you.
Last night I played on Day of Defeat because the shiny, new computer is grand. Within five minutes I was on top of the server. I wasn't as good as I used to be, I used to be 2:1 but now it's more like 1:2.
I'm guessing none of you know what I am talking about, but when has that ever stopped me.
I got so caught up playing it I completely forgot I had work today at six so I had a later night than I wanted.
Yet even though I only had about five hours sleep it felt like twelve. I had vivid and deep dreams which always makes sleep feel longer and I woke up a few times in the night to look at the time and have a sigh of relief while I melted back into the pillow.
And because I forgot about work last night I also forgot to shave so that meant I had to do it this morning. It's not exactly the most comfortable thing to be doing early in the morning where razors and necks are involved but I sleepy Dan did a pretty good job.
Work went on longer. Two hours and fifteen minutes longer. I said I would stay longer as it's not like I had anything else to do. Something about working the counter while someone did some paperwork, but I saw no paperwork being done. I don't mind, extra money.
Walking home I was thinking about growing up. I'm an adult now and I work, albeit part time but I have a job. I could keep this job for life if I wanted so in that respect you could say I have gone through all of growing up.
And you know what, it hardly feels like I have at all.
You spend seventeen years waiting to be eighteen, waiting to be an adult but what for.
I know growing up is not stepwise, it's a steady unnoticeable thing but when you're a teenager you can't wait to grow up.
But I just don't think there is anything good about it. It's just something that happens. There is not a lot of difference to being at school and to being at work. There are obvious differences but I just don't see the two being worlds apart.
I look back and think about how I wanted to grow up, but what for. Evidently it was so that I could say I was an adult and just work my life away.
I don't know, this made perfect sense in my head but the words are not coming out so well here.
And I am no fair person to talk about such things. I didn't care about school grades so I certainly don't care about climbing a career ladder.
It probably doesn't help that growing up is something that is talked about a lot when you are a child but it's not something you can notice in front of you, it's only something you notice when you look back. You have something all dressed up that you can't see unfold.
Yeah, I will definitely give up trying to word my thoughts now.
Next week is going to be something. You know I have the house to myself and I was planning on getting loads done but it's half term so I have a fucktonne (fuck-two-thousand-two-hundred-and-four-point-six-pounds for you imperial users) of hours next week. Thirty! I didn't know there were that many in a week.
I have just two days off but it's not all bad because my hours are all over the shop (yes, I am that hilarious) so I have mornings off and afternoons off to get somethings done.
Guess it saves me making some meals, I can just eat there instead.
And with a empty house next week I can finally get round to watching the Godfather and Godfather Part II.
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